Dear Prudence,
I’m a 22-year-old competitive bodybuilder, and I recently acquired a primary sponsor, “Jeremy,” who is extremely successful. He’s funded my entire life, paying for my gym membership, supplements, rent, and coaching, so I can focus 100 percent on training. It’s a dream come true, and he asks for very little in return beyond weekly updates and the occasional lunch or dinner.
Jeremy spends a lot of time at my gym. He watches my workouts, brings me protein shakes, and asks incredibly detailed questions about my diet and physique. He says he’s fascinated by the discipline. I always thought this was just the normal level of attention you get from a top-tier financial backer.
However, my brother, “Justin,” recently told me that Jeremy is obviously in love with me and effectively “buying a relationship.” I initially laughed it off. Jeremy has never been inappropriate, never touched me, and has only talked about my athletic progress. But ever since then, I’ve been watching him closely, and Justin may be right. I started noticing subtle things like the way Jeremy looks at me and the way he leans in a little too eagerly when I talk. I think Jeremy has deeper feelings and/or ulterior motives and I kinda feel dumb now for not seeing it sooner.
Now, I’m in a dilemma. Jeremy is making my competitive career possible, and if I lose his sponsorship, I lose my shot at turning pro. But my conscience is telling me that continuing to accept his money, knowing he is in love with me and that I will never reciprocate, is wrong and dishonest. If I’m going to be honest, I’m also a little creeped out now that he’s taken so much of an interest in me.
Is it morally wrong to capitalize on a wealthy man’s misplaced affection, or is this just the price of ambition? And if I do decide to keep the sponsorship, should I gently let him know that I know the truth about his feelings, so he is no longer operating under the delusion that he is merely a “mentor”? I feel like the most professional thing to do is to keep him in the dark, but personally I like Jeremy and don’t like the idea of “using” him or “stringing him along.”
—Bewildered Bodybuilder