You're a dick, but there are compromises here

Casadena · October 30

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I are having a dispute about something I think is stupid. She wants to take our family to volunteer at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving instead of going over to my parents’ for a family gathering like we usually do. I don’t want to spend the holiday among a bunch of indigents and risk exposing myself, her, and our kids to any number of diseases. I think making a sizable donation to our local food pantry, if she wants to teach them about charity, would be sufficient. Any thoughts?

—There Are Many Ways to Give

banana468 · October 30

How 'bout no!

How do you think people who fall on hard times get fed? How do you think soup kitchens function without the volunteer labor required?

What time is the event at your parents' home? You can call the local place and volunteer before or after.

It's great you think diseases are only at soup kitchens because no one ever caught a cold (or worse!) from a family gathering.

levioosa · October 30

Yeah, if you don't want them to be entitled dicks like you, volunteer in the morning and go to the family gathering in the afternoon.

charlotte989875 · October 30

I hope your wife takes them and you choose not to go, and then everyone asks where they are and why you didn’t go to and they tell you how terrible you are.

short+sassy · October 30

I assume soup kitchens need help 365 days/year. They might even have the most help on holidays because that's when people are the most likely to think of it, like his wife.

I think this would be a great compromise. Go to the parent's house on Thanksgiving, like usual. Volunteer at the soup kitchen this coming weekend or another convenient day in the near future. I do understand being worried about diseases, so wear masks. That's what I often do if I'm going to be in close quarters with a large group of people.

VarunaTT · October 30

I applaud what the wife is trying to do. However, food pantries/kitchens are vocal about how everyone wants to volunteer at the holidays and no other times. I'd suggest to wife that she volunteers in January or other times when the volunteers are light and teach the kids help is all year, not just holidays.

Husband can go eff himself, b/c I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want to help, probably thinks the people are "a result of their bad choices" and believes empathy is a sin.

banana468 · October 30

VarunaTT said:

I applaud what the wife is trying to do. However, food pantries/kitchens are vocal about how everyone wants to volunteer at the holidays and no other times. I'd suggest to wife that she volunteers in January or other times when the volunteers are light and teach the kids help is all year, not just holidays.

Husband can go eff himself, b/c I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want to help, probably thinks the people are "a result of their bad choices" and believes empathy is a sin.

He comes across as such a jerk! Because people who go to soup kitchens are really just looking to milk the system.

short+sassy · October 30

banana468 said:

VarunaTT said:

I applaud what the wife is trying to do. However, food pantries/kitchens are vocal about how everyone wants to volunteer at the holidays and no other times. I'd suggest to wife that she volunteers in January or other times when the volunteers are light and teach the kids help is all year, not just holidays.

Husband can go eff himself, b/c I'm pretty sure he just doesn't want to help, probably thinks the people are "a result of their bad choices" and believes empathy is a sin.

He comes across as such a jerk! Because people who go to soup kitchens are really just looking to milk the system.

Milking the system, smh. Soup kitchens might be extra full this year if the government shutdowns are still going on. No SNAP to help pay for any meals, much less a Thanksgiving meal.

Many federal employees haven't been paid since Oct 1st and military pay is being cut off Nov 1st. But all of those people are still expected to work and most have been. Trump has even said he may not pay all the back pay for the federal workers.

The federal government is the one milking the system.

MyNameIsNot · October 30

This feels like MUD to me. I know there are people like this, but it just seems too perfectly worded like rage bait.

Anyway, LW can go to hell.

levioosa · October 30

MyNameIsNot said:

This feels like MUD to me. I know there are people like this, but it just seems too perfectly worded like rage bait.

Anyway, LW can go to hell.

I would say it's MUD but I've met people who have said stuff like this. And you have Cuomo over there laughing at Mamdami's rent during the debates saying, "What? an amount like that? That's for POOR people."

You're a dick, but there are compromises here

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