Dear Prudence,
I am thinking of calling off my wedding, but not because of my fiancé. He’s great, we’re a good team, he loves me. I love him too, but not necessarily enough, I guess.
Basically, his whole family fancy themselves “pranksters.” My fiancé restricts it to the occasional googly eyes on all the food in the fridge type of prank, but his dad and brothers have been escalating over the years. It all came to a head, for me, at his older brother’s wedding.
Their dad hired a “wide load” truck to take the bride to the church the day of instead of the limo he’d promised to get. The bride laughed it off, but in private she was in tears. She just didn’t want them to think she was a “bad sport” or “had no sense of humor.” It made me think, because I’ve seen his mom and sisters do the same thing, the rare occasions anyone puts their foot down that something ISN’T funny. The reaction isn’t bad, exactly, but it’s all rolled eyes and “Fine, if you’re going to take it that way.”
I don’t like pranks, and now I’m looking down the barrel of a married life spent either keeping the peace with my fiancé’s family or being the humorless shrew. Neither sounds like something I want to deal with. Now my fiancé would back me up, but only because he loves me, not because he agrees with me. He thought the “wide load” prank was hilarious and his sister-in-law was a good sport. So again, it would be everyone being indulgent of the humorless sister/daughter-in-law. I just don’t see how that’s going to work, no matter how much I love my fiancé? I’ve got six months to make up my mind. I really want to marry him, but the thought of our life outside him and me … once I factor in the family he loves and is close to … it fills me with irritation.
(I, for the record, think I have a fairly good sense of humor. Although that is what everyone says, I guess. I just don’t care for pranks that ruin an experience or depend on someone being humiliated. The googly eyes crack me up! My fiancé’s family just sees pranks differently.)
—Wedding Doubts