Dear Prudence,
I thought “Wendy,” and I would be best friends for life. We were roommates in college, shared a crappy apartment after graduation, and I was in her bridal party. When she got pregnant, I thought I was going to be an honorary aunt. I organized her baby shower and helped set up the nursery and a meal train after the baby was born.
And then Wendy disappeared from my life—until she needed something. My texts went unreturned, offers to meet up were ignored, or canceled at the last minute. When the baby was 13 months old, her husband got a transfer to another city, and suddenly, Wendy was back in my life. I got boxes, helped with the packing, and supervised the movers while Wendy took care of the baby. I use vacation time to help out here. Wendy claimed she would forever be grateful to me. Then it was radio silence again.
Her city is halfway to where my grandparents live, so we made plans to meet up—only Wendy refused to confirm with me. I decided to drop by and say hi. We had coffee, and Wendy claimed to be just very tired but hugged me goodbye and said to stay in touch. A week later, she sent me an awful text where she accused me of stomping on her boundaries and not respecting her space. She then blocked my number.
Hurt doesn’t even cover what I felt. It threw me for a serious loop, where I was examining every interaction I had with everyone I knew. So imagine my shock four years later when we both attend a mutual friend’s wedding, Wendy comes up and hugs me! She acted like we just “accidentally” fell out of touch. I figured she was just pretending to save face, but in the next few days, she followed me on social media and invited me to meet up since they had moved back to my area. I haven’t responded. Should I? Is there any chance of getting a real explanation or just more fakeness? I understand people grow apart and change, but no one deserves this kind of viciousness.
—Confused in Colorado