Dear Prudence,
I’m facing a tricky situation with my friend, “Phoebe,” that I would really like some advice on how to handle. Phoebe is a dear friend—she’s loyal, generous, and always willing to lend a hand. However, I used to work with Phoebe for many years, and I know doesn’t have the best work ethic—she’ll call out of work because she’s hungover (mind you, she’s in her mid-40s), leave in the middle of the day for various reasons, not follow through with assignments, etc. Thankfully, we were in different departments when we worked together, so it never affected me (and I switched jobs a couple of years ago), but I know it was very frustrating for people (frankly, the only reason she has kept her job is because management is terrible).
Well, Phoebe has decided she’s going to run for a local position in our town. She does have connections through her family and neighborhood. Again, while I truly value her friendship, she would be terrible in this position. To be fair, there are others who hold this position who certainly don’t deserve it (but were able to be elected because our town doesn’t actually pay attention to candidates for this position and just press the buttons), so it’s not like Phoebe will really be noticed/stand out for not pulling her weight.
The problem is that Phoebe wants my help with the campaign, and is also expecting me to donate. I am able to wiggle out of some things (like collecting signatures to get on the ballot, organizing fundraisers) because my job doesn’t allow me to participate. But technically I am able to donate, attend events, and actively show support/promote a candidate. But … I don’t want to. While I’m certainly not going to campaign against Phoebe or do anything to hurt her efforts, I don’t want to associate my name with helping to get her elected. I cannot in good conscience encourage people to vote for her. She’s in the early stages, so thus far me avoiding certain asks hasn’t been too much of a problem, but I know it’s going to get harder and harder. How do I manage this?
—Doesn’t Have My Vote