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Wedding Woes

Sounds like you just hate your ILs

Dear Prudence,

Every year, I dread Thanksgiving because my wife always lets her mother, “Anisa,” dictate what will be served and how to make the turkey. Her recipes bite ass. Everything either comes out too salty, too dry, too soggy, or overdone.

I’ve been putting up with this for the last five years since her parents retired and moved to our city to be closer to our kids (who hate her variations on the food as well), and I am sick of it. My wife says that we need to humor her mother because “she doesn’t know how many Thanksgivings she has left.” Bullshit. Anisa is in her mid-60s and has no significant health issues. I’m thinking of just piling the kids in the car the night before and smuggling them to my sister’s so we can have some decent food for a change. Do I have permission to do that?

Re: Sounds like you just hate your ILs

  • Can you talk to your wife about how to cook and then HELP HER DO IT?!? 

    Look, some people have recipes that are terrible so maybe that's the case.  But if it is, tell your wife that if you two are hosting (sort of how it sounds) then you want Thanksgiving and the food to represent your home you share together.

    Then push up your sleeves, wash your hands and print out the Americas Test Kitchen recipes that are not gonna suck and figure out how to prepare them WITH HER.  
  • Offer to bring a dish - or better yet just bring one anyway.

    But no- do not just take your kids on a holiday without talking through it with your wife. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Offer to host at your home?  Rotate between your ILs and your family every other year?
    Look, I'm from a family terrific cooks, and if I had to sit through a food-focused holiday and the meal was meh, I'd be bummed.  That said, LW sounds wildly immature.
  • Is your sister local? If so, doing things with both sides of the family is totally reasonable, even if one or the other needs to be on an alternate day. 

    But also, sometimes people make shitty food. Eat before you go, bring a dish, and get over yourself. 
  • Is this guy serious?  Does he want to start WW3 by secretly taking his kids away from his wife/their mother on a holiday.

    I don't know why he thinks this is the only answer when there are a lot of good compromises to choose from.
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