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Reception invites without ceremony invites

knottie6311f553d6adafacknottie6311f553d6adafac member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are having our ceremony at a place that is very special to us but it only allows for 50 guests.  For our reception we have a large venue and want to invite more people to celebrate with us (probably 100-120).  When there are limits on the number of people you can have at the ceremony and you really need to have it there as it means so much to you what is some advice on how to invite some (50 people) to the ceremony/reception and a larger number (likely 100) to only the reception.  This seems to be more common recently but still not sure the best way to handle the invites, peoples feelings etc.   Please share advice if you have any.  Thank you so much.
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Re: Reception invites without ceremony invites

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Honestly - I wouldn't do this or if you did, cap your invite list to WAY under 50.

    The reception is the event you host for those who attended the ceremony.  Not having them witness the exchange of vows is inviting them to the party but you really wouldn't be hosting a reception since they didn't see the big event.

    That said, if you were to have an intimate ceremony,  please keep it to you and your partner and immediate family - like under 20 guests with limited bridal party.  Invitations would be issued to the ceremony for those attending and you would issue separate invitations that are inviting guests to the reception in honor of the wedding that will take place.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with banana. It really is poor etiquette to invite people to the reception only. I know people will disagree with this, but you asked on an etiquette forum. 
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  • knottie6311f553d6adafacknottie6311f553d6adafac member
    First Comment
    Thank you for the advice.  We will keep looking at options to even out the ceremony and reception. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    knottie6311f553d6adafac said:
    Thank you for the advice.  We will keep looking at options to even out the ceremony and reception. 
    Consider engagement or even post-ceremony shots at the location if its photogenic. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It is better to have a 50-person small wedding and say "we're keeping it small because we absolutely love this event space!" than B-List your guests...

    As someone who has been invited to weddings like this (both on the VIP and the Secondaries list), it changes the energy of the room and people's memories are long about how you treated them.  People DO NOT like to be B-Listed!  Many are still going to show up, but they're going to have a lip crinkle even if they don't let you see it and the undertone whispers and recaps "remember so'n'so's wedding.." will be from not how good the cake was nor how vibrant y'all looked but the B-listing from both the VIP's and others.  The undertone is everyone who is not invited to the ceremony is a tad miffed that they're good enough to be invited to the party, spend lots of money on a gift/travel/potentially time off work, but not good enough to see the main event.  
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  • knottie6311f553d6adafacknottie6311f553d6adafac member
    First Comment
    Thank you.  Working on options to get more people to the ceremony or change venues.  Greatly appreciated.  
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