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Born again?

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My wonderful boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly three years. This summer, we moved in together. This has brought us closer, and our relationship has flourished. We have discussed marriage, and I hope that it will be only a matter of time before we take that step. I grew up Catholic, while my boyfriend was “saved” (his words) during high school. My boyfriend’s relationship with God is something I admire, but his recent soul searching is somewhat troubling.

Specifically, he has decided that premarital sex is a no-no—although we’ve been sexually active since early in our relationship. Not only do I disagree, but I find this change somewhat hurtful and offensive. I view sex as an essential expression of a loving relationship. I have said this, but all he can articulate is that he’s not sure what he feels and that he’ll continue to pray. Do I allow him to explore this new relationship with God and accept that the dynamic of our relationship has changed? Or do I attempt to convey to him why I feel differently and hope that things will go back to the way they were?

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Re: Born again?

  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Pretty sure I know what podcasts he's been sucked into. 

    Break up, LW.


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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you two now have such different views of sex, that means you're no longer compatible. You can try to talk to him about this if you haven't already, but I don't think you're going to get the reaction you're hoping for. It may ultimately be better for you to just break up and move on.


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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So....are you only living together to wash the socks?? 

    Time to have a long frank talk about what it is that is going to happen here, where you two stand and see if this is workable long term. 
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would cut my losses now. For whatever reason (and my money is on alt-right leading podcasts too), he's decided to change his moral stance on something that heavily affects the both of you, and is unilaterally making a decision and expecting you to go along with it. That is not a partnership.

    What happens when his next inclination is that women should be submissive to men, shouldn't work outside the home, and shouldn't have bank accounts? And no, I'm not being reactionary, those are real things that a huge portion of evangelical christians embrace.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MyNameIsNot said:
    I would cut my losses now. For whatever reason (and my money is on alt-right leading podcasts too), he's decided to change his moral stance on something that heavily affects the both of you, and is unilaterally making a decision and expecting you to go along with it. That is not a partnership.

    What happens when his next inclination is that women should be submissive to men, shouldn't work outside the home, and shouldn't have bank accounts? And no, I'm not being reactionary, those are real things that a huge portion of evangelical christians embrace.
    Agree that I imagine it starts with waiting until marriage, but doesn't end here.  I would end the relationship.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MyNameIsNot said:
    I would cut my losses now. For whatever reason (and my money is on alt-right leading podcasts too), he's decided to change his moral stance on something that heavily affects the both of you, and is unilaterally making a decision and expecting you to go along with it. That is not a partnership.

    What happens when his next inclination is that women should be submissive to men, shouldn't work outside the home, and shouldn't have bank accounts? And no, I'm not being reactionary, those are real things that a huge portion of evangelical christians embrace.
    Our literal VP believes (and has retweeted videos) that women shouldn't vote, that it should be a "household vote" with the man voting for everyone, so yeah, not reactionary. 


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