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Wedding Woes

Send a thank you

Dear Prudence,

My partner of nearly 30 years and I recently got married. We had a catered ceremony and reception, and people treated it like a normal wedding and gave gifts, mostly of cash and checks. My new wife is keeping her last name. One of the guests made out a check to “Adam and Eve” (not our real names) with no last name on the check. We don’t need the money (which is among the reasons we got married), but I want to honor them and accept their gift. It feels very weird to ask for a new check. My inclination is to just toss it without comment, but then we can’t honor and accept their gift. Any ideas?

—Thank You for the Gift

Re: Send a thank you

  • Thank them for the gift and let them know that the bank cannot process the check as it does not have a last name.  Let them know you truly appreciate that they were there, they are under NO obligation to send you a second check however the first check is not going to be deposited as it lacks the identifying information required.  Should they want to remedy the situation with a new check your last names are Mertz and Riccardo.

    This is one of those times IMO to be delicate but advise what's going on especially since plenty of people are quite detailed with their checkbook ledger. 
  • There are a couple ways around this without bothering the guest.

    I didn't take my H's name after our wedding and we had a couple checks like that.  My husband and I went to my bank to deposit them.  The teller called the manager over, which I expected.  My H gave his ID because he wasn't on my account.  I gave my ID and my marriage certificate.  No problems.

    TBH, they could write one of their last names that is on the account and then deposit it in an ATM.  All of that is electronic nowadays.  I doubt an actual person is double checking that Eve's last name is Smith instead of Jones.

    Even 30 years ago when I worked for Bank of America, we didn't handle ATM deposits in the branch unless there was cash.  It all got bundled up and was included with our armored car service.  The final destination for the ATM check deposits was a central processing facility.  It wasn't my impression that there were a bunch of people there manually entering deposits when machines can do that cheaper, faster, and more accurately.  But I could be wrong.   
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • There are a couple ways around this without bothering the guest.

    I didn't take my H's name after our wedding and we had a couple checks like that.  My husband and I went to my bank to deposit them.  The teller called the manager over, which I expected.  My H gave his ID because he wasn't on my account.  I gave my ID and my marriage certificate.  No problems.

    TBH, they could write one of their last names that is on the account and then deposit it in an ATM.  All of that is electronic nowadays.  I doubt an actual person is double checking that Eve's last name is Smith instead of Jones.

    Even 30 years ago when I worked for Bank of America, we didn't handle ATM deposits in the branch unless there was cash.  It all got bundled up and was included with our armored car service.  The final destination for the ATM check deposits was a central processing facility.  It wasn't my impression that there were a bunch of people there manually entering deposits when machines can do that cheaper, faster, and more accurately.  But I could be wrong.   
    This is where I am. Just put it in the ATM. Unless the machine throws an error trying to read the dollar amount or there's some flag on gifting person's account, no human is ever going to look at it, especially if it's a relatively small amount. (I doubt they're talking about $10,000 here.)

    I kept my last name and I go by my middle name, but of course my bank account is in my legal first and last. I deposit checks regularly with my other name combinations and have never had an issue. e.g. My account is under Sarah Gellar, but I routinely deposit checks to Michelle Gellar, and even Michelle Prinze. 
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