This mindset is tough

Casadena · January 8

Dear Prudence,

I am an emergency room doctor with over a decade of experience. My husband of also over a decade, a non-biologically related scientist, is very into fitness and wellness. Occasionally, we’ll see an ad or hear about something in what I would call the wellness-industrial complex (companies eager to earn a buck on people by sending lab tests that have dubious clinical significance and then selling the customer a cure, a panacea, or a longevity or athleticism cheat code), and he’ll become surprisingly resentful and woeful about the entire concept of medicine, complaining that it offers him nothing because it only treats diseases rather than offering enhancements that could make him, essentially, superior to a typical disease free human (superhuman?).

When I try to explain the limitations of ethical and scientifically sound medical research, he responds as if I’m a fool who can’t see the fullness of human potential, or that I genuinely don’t know what I’m talking about. But I literally am an expert, and he’s not in the field at all. He’s not an RFK guy, but his attitude in these conversations makes me see how easily people slip into that MAHA mindset. What can I do?

—I Really Did Go to School Too

banana468 · January 8

Can you start to ask questions? Probe and ask what makes him think that these are things that are believable. But also continue the dialogue and ask how he feels about you in your profession and see if he legitimately respects it. If he continues to backpedal that tells you where he stands.

levioosa · January 8

I could rage about all of this for hours. But I'll leave this factoid here:

"Big Pharma" makes about $1.7 Trillion a year in profit. The Wellness Influencer Industry makes about $6.8 Trillion. Wellness claims have zero responsibility to prove efficacy or lack of harm. So tell me who's scamming all of us again?

VarunaTT · January 8

I mean, the correct answer is the probing, "Why do you think that?" and continuing to ask open ended, "thinking" type questions to try and eventually get him to see the scam.

My gut answer is either you're going to ignore this about him or have a fight every time. Decide if it's the hill you're willing to go to battle for.

levioosa · January 8

VarunaTT said:

I mean, the correct answer is the probing, "Why do you think that?" and continuing to ask open ended, "thinking" type questions to try and eventually get him to see the scam.

My gut answer is either you're going to ignore this about him or have a fight every time. Decide if it's the hill you're willing to go to battle for.

I won't lie, this would probably be a deal breaker for me. H has been there with me through school, through all of my research, the literal blood, sweat and tears of medicine, the rants about the injustice and lack of research in certain areas, and the discussions about the wellness industry and how predatory it is. I will never say medicine is perfect. Especially now, we are deeply, deeply broken. But he understands the nuance and when he sees something concerning from a wellness influencer, he asks me, we talk about it, and he moves on. I could not deal if he continued to fight me because Joe the personal trainer said all GLPs were thyroid cancer causing super bombs and all you need is some chickpeas, an essential oil, and Crossfit to be healthy. The fact that LW is (presumably) female and her husband is a male is also making me think some misogyny is at play here, even if it is subconscious. Would he be fighting a male physician peer the same way? Something tells me he would not.

This mindset is tough

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