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Wedding Woes

Incredible confidence!

Dear Prudence,

On a recent visit home, I joined my dad and my stepmom at one of her company’s family days. My stepmom introduced me to a guy we’ll call “Ed,” who immediately started making inappropriate remarks to me despite being about 40 years older than me. After yet another dreary comment about my tits, I kind of rolled my eyes and yawned, and he said, “If you’re bored, sweetie, we can always go back to mine.” I just replied, “Ew.” He replied, “If you Googled me, you’d be dying to come with me.” That’s when I whipped out my phone and said, “Sure, do I search for the world’s biggest douche or is it the world’s tiniest dick?” He completely lost it and had to be removed from the premises by the staff at the event, who threatened to call the police.

I’d be delighted if the story ended there, but it turns out that he’s a big deal at my stepmom’s company, and she is furious because I’ve harmed her career. She and my dad are demanding that I apologize to him. I’m absolutely not going to do that, and I am really angry that they would even ask. I’m 19, and I know what he did was inappropriate and disgusting, so surely they should, too. Am I wrong here? As things stand, I’ve told my dad I need space and will not be taking his calls for a while. Do I just wait this out? Is it wrong that I would rather be right than have a relationship with either of them?

—I’m Right, But What Are You?

Re: Incredible confidence!

  • Yeah, I wouldn't be apologizing either.

    The person is 19.  While slightly inappropriate words to say they pale in comparison to the barrage of harassment they faced.

    I'd be clear that there is no apology coming and if you want to associate with someone like that be careful and glad that you didn't record him. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ugh, poor LW.  I want to say be prepared to go NC with them, but at 19, she may be financially dependent on them.  I hate that she's in this situation.

    I would certainly remind them that I'm not the one who owes an apology, since he is the one who commented on the body and suggested going back to his place with someone who is one year over legal age.
  • I am curious as to his role in the company? Is it a role which is a big deal because he a manager and is sabotaging Mom and this can be a legit HR issue? Or is he the kind of big deal that runs everything and has an out no matter what he does? Fuck these men. 


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  • levioosa said:
    I am curious as to his role in the company? Is it a role which is a big deal because he a manager and is sabotaging Mom and this can be a legit HR issue? Or is he the kind of big deal that runs everything and has an out no matter what he does? Fuck these men. 
    This is what I need to know- how important is this guy really. 

    But also- LW doesn’t work there from what I can tell! There’s no reason to apologize to this man. And what’s done is done so step Mom should report wha happened to HR to protect herself as much as possible. Hopefully she has some allies that would be willing to back her story about him getting so belligerent he was kicked out. Because (as I can attest from taking yearly sexual harassment training) sexual harassment applies to third parties, guests at company events, even if they don’t work for the organization. 
  • If the police came, there's a report somewhere detailing why.  Anyone who had to be kicked the premises for being belligerent isn't okay, period.  Add what he did?  Hell no.  What kind of parents are these people?  LW is one helluva young adult and I'd be beaming with pride and telling that dude to eff alllllllllllllllllllll the way off over there...and the company should be as well.
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