Dear Prudence,
I am heartbroken. I struggled to stay in my goddaughter’s life since her mom, my best friend, died five years ago. I live on the opposite coast, but have visited every year of her life, given her gifts, talked to her on the phone, and have tried my best to treat her as my own blood.
She had her daughter last year. I was at the birth and bought her the car to take the baby home. This was the result of my downsizing and selling some family property. Unfortunately, her boyfriend just sees dollar signs now.
He has two other children by two other women and talks a big game about being such a great dad, but the reality is that he games and vapes while dumping his kids on my goddaughter. She has called me in tears about being sleep-deprived with the baby, only to have his kids destroying the house and screaming that they want DoorDash, and being called names when she yelled at them for waking up the baby. She can’t say boo to these kids without their father and their moms calling her the wicked witch.
My goddaughter was the one who signed them up to get free winter coats and Christmas gifts this year. The actual parents couldn’t bother. I can’t travel much anymore due to my health, but I saved to buy a plane ticket for my goddaughter to visit me with the baby. Her boyfriend caught wind of this and threw a fit about what I have never done or given his kids anything ever. I have never met them. I met him at the birth of my great-goddaughter. They were only casually together the last time that I visited before the birth. We were going to see each other after the holidays.
I told my goddaughter that the money was already spent. She works full-time, has a baby, and her boyfriend can’t be seen to pay for crap. She told me that unless I treated all the kids “equally,” she didn’t want me in her life. After she hung up, I cried myself to sleep. I don’t know what to do here. My goddaughter has some aunts that she rarely sees, and I don’t know who to get in touch with. Her father left when she was 3. I have a spare room and would be willing to take her and the baby in, but we live so far away. What should I do?