Dear Prudence,
My husband (I’m the second wife) has three kids in their mid- to late-twenties, and I think they are pretty great. The problem is my mother-in-law. Normally, she is sweet as pie to me. I fit all the “traditional” boxes—specifically, I can cook from scratch.
My step kids were never taught how to cook growing up, so when my oldest stepdaughter sent pictures of her first “homemade” Thanksgiving feast, it had microwaved sides, instant gravy, and just a turkey breast—but I was proud! She was very much so. Her grandmother wasn’t. Instead, at the dinner table when the pics and text arrived, she spent a very long time mocking her grandchild and making fun of my husband’s ex.
I wanted to melt into the floor. My husband doesn’t see the problem. His mother is just a traditionalist, he says, and she was just making fun. It just felt spiteful and mean. I lucked out on the stepkids. They are all educated, employed, and don’t see their father and me as a piggy bank. They know they have a safety net in us, but it is a safety net and not a hammock. I didn’t say anything then, and my husband dismissed my complaints after dinner. So should I do anything here? Let it go?