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Suing your MIL?

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My mother-in-law, “Dana,” has hated me from the moment my now-husband introduced us. She’s the sort who expects everyone she encounters to allow her to run their lives, and I won’t tolerate that. At Thanksgiving, I had our family come over to her place for the day. Dana wanted us to stay for three days, and when I refused, she pitched a fit, so we left.

Cut to Christmas when my husband and I were hosting. More than half a dozen family members pulled me aside to discreetly inform me that Dana was going around telling everyone that she had discovered that I used to be in adult films! Furious as I was, there were a number of children present, so I waited to confront Dana over the phone the next day. She lied and claimed I was making things up. When I pointed out that I had seen the texts she had sent to various relatives, she cussed me out and hung up. I am contemplating suing her for defamation. My husband is staunchly against it, saying that what is needed is a lengthy time-out, not legal action. Easy for him to say—he’s not the one who had his reputation smeared! Please tell me I’m within my rights to take my terrible MIL to the cleaners for this if possible.

—Defamed Daughter-in-Law

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Re: Suing your MIL?

  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    LW, you're not and you're just looking for vengeance.  IDK why, obviously everyone knows she's terrible.

    Having said that, this is beyond "time-out".  This is "no-contact".
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There has to be a middle ground between doormat and lawsuit.

    You can go scorched earth followed by no contact without needing Jacoby & Meyers. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm not a lawyer, but it's my understanding, if you're in the U.S. that defamation lawsuits are very difficult to win. So you'd be going through all that time and expense and all you'll have done is inconvenience your nasty MIL. 

    Don't get me wrong, what she did was absolutely terrible. But this warrants putting your foot down with your husband about going no-contact, not a consultation with an attorney.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    downtondiva said:
    I'm not a lawyer, but it's my understanding, if you're in the U.S. that defamation lawsuits are very difficult to win. So you'd be going through all that time and expense and all you'll have done is inconvenience your nasty MIL. 

    Don't get me wrong, what she did was absolutely terrible. But this warrants putting your foot down with your husband about going no-contact, not a consultation with an attorney.
    Sorta. There are two different standards for public figures versus private individuals. She can establish that MIL spread false information to discredit LW's reputation, that part is pretty clear cut. But then she has to prove that someone believed this and that it caused quantifiable harm. It doesn't sound like most of the family believed it, but even if they did there's no financial impact. The more typical scenario is putting something like this out in the professional network and interfering with her career.

    Anyway, I think the better option is to cut contact. I know she's trying to clear her name and make it clear to everyone else that there's no kernel of truth, but there are better ways to handle this. 
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