Dear Prudence,
My friend “Trey” and his wife “Madison” are both in their late 30s and are struggling to agree on whether to have children. They were both on the fence when they met, but now Madison really wants to be a mom. They have been in marriage counseling for two years now to try to resolve this issue.
Trey keeps saying that he’s almost there, and with a bit more time, he will be ready for kids. However, a few nights ago, we were out for drinks, and Trey confessed to me that he made up his mind years ago. He does not want children, but he wants to stay married to Madison. He told me that he is intentionally giving her false hope, and is hoping that she will either change her mind, or that he will “run out the clock” so she will be too old to have kids anyway. I told him that he needs to be honest with Madison and stop wasting her time, but he refuses to tell her the truth.
Should I tell Madison what he said? Trey is a very close friend of many years, and while Madison and I are friends as well, we are not nearly as close, and we don’t hang out one-on-one. I am absolutely disgusted by this revelation and think she deserves to know, but I’m also not sure if it’s my place, or if she will even believe me. What should I do?
—She Deserves The Truth