Dear Prudence,
A few days after Christmas, my oldest sister (“Clair”) sent a text message to me and my siblings (four of us total) saying “due to what happened on Christmas Day, I am taking a break from my family”—nothing more, no explanation, no response to us texting back “what happened?”. Christmas was at my house, and I could not think of anything bad that happened, and my other siblings were at a loss also. In talking to my mom a few days later, she mentioned that Clair was upset that we didn’t get her grandkids (ages 5 and 7), my grandnephews, anything for Christmas and that she and her family were topics of discussion and unwarranted questions were being asked about them and she didn’t like it. I can’t for the life of me imagine why.
Her son and his wife and kids moved back to the area three months ago and other than some baby gifts when they were newborns, no gifts have ever been given to them, so the expectation caught us completely off guard. As for being the topic of discussion and questions? How could we help ourselves when Clair was charged with vandalism a week before Christmas when she found out the married man she was seeing had no intention of leaving his wife for her, and she keyed and spray painted his car. Plus, why did her son, with supposedly a good job and a house, just up and move back with no explanation and remain unwilling to give one? And why is her unemployed daughter not applying where her uncle works, as they are hiring for entry level positions? Could it be because she knows she will fail the drug test?
This brings me to last weekend, when our cousin “Emily” and her husband were travelling near our area. They stayed the night at my house, so I invited my mom and other siblings, except for Clair (remember, no contact), over for supper. Yesterday, Clair found out about Emily’s visit and sent me a message demanding to know why she wasn’t made aware of Emily visiting and not being invited for supper. I mentioned her “break from the family” and she said “that’s not what I said,” so I sent her a screenshot of her message and said “I don’t know how to take it any other way except that you don’t want anything to do with the family.” Today she sent another message to the family saying she wants to be included in family things, but she and her family are “off limits for questions and conversations.”
Am I being unreasonable in thinking this requirement is ridiculous? In the past, she has had no issues in making my and my sibling’s families the topic of discussion, good or bad.