H or his love child?

Casadena · February 5

Five years ago my husband “Brad” had an affair that resulted in a child, “Jamie.” We managed to repair our relationship and now have a 2-year-old. Recently we learned that Jamie’s mother passed away via suicide. Jamie has landed with an aunt who contacted us because she does not want to raise him and wants him to live with my husband and me. Brad has paid child support since it was established that Jamie is his son, but has not been involved in Jamie’s life. He is unsure what to do here, as he has never even met him. I hate myself for thinking this way, but I honestly don’t want Jamie here to be a permanent reminder of Brad’s infidelity. Would it be wrong to refuse to take him?

banana468 · February 5

Ooof. I feel for the kid. What an innocent person in this mess.

I don't think there's a right answer here. I'd hate to see a child bounced unloved, but the LW needs to make some choices here. I'd likely seek a really good therapist and possibly a lawyer to help navigate this.

levioosa · February 6

This poor kid. Wherever he goes he needs a solid support system and probably some early child therapy because that is a heavy start in life.

charlotte989875 · February 6

Your thoughts and feelings aren’t wrong, but what you do next might me. Therapy to work through how you feel, what you can do here and what you can’t, and probably for the whole family.

But Jamie is at most 4-5? He has no one. I think your husband owes this child a family that cares about him. If he wants to do it, do not give him an ultimatum. Decide if you can be a part of it or not.

H or his love child?

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