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Need independence but dont' know how

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I’m 25 years old and still live with my parents. I’ve never had a job but desperately want one (I have begged to have one since I was 16, but my parents kept telling me “stay in school” until I hit 21). Every time I think I’m ready to get one, something always comes up. Dad got me a car at 21, but I didn’t get a license for it until I was 22. At the same time, my sister needed my car for her job (she wrecked hers). I got it back, but then my parents’ car broke down, and now they need mine.

Mom got cancer last year and needed it for her appointments. Once those were done, I finally had it… And now I’m the one having health issues that make getting a job out of the question. What should I do?

—Saint

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Re: Need independence but dont' know how

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 12
    I'm not discounting a total disability, but the idea that vague "health issues" mean having a job is totally out of the question is suss. 

    Walk or take the bus to literally anywhere. Get a job. Stop waiting for your parents to tell you to live your life and just do it. Therapy because there's probably a lot more going on here, but I'm assuming LW can't afford it and the parents aren't going to spring for it if it isn't their idea. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    LW needs to get the/A/ANY job, even if it's part time pronto.

    The hard part with a situation like this is the "there is more going on" that isn't included that's vital information... Plus, it's not JUST getting the job, it's the big kid money and independence that is going to cause "growing pains" for all involved.  Until there's a vehicle in LW name, that vehicle will always be a family car more than theirs.  There's also the element of if LW wants a job and the parents haven't wanted them to get one, will there be sabotage to the practical aspects of showing up on time that the family will find a way to get in the way of.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    LW should find a counselor/career counselor somewhere.  This is such an odd situation I feel like getting a job is just the tip of the iceberg. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The lead is buried somewhere here. 


    image
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    levioosa said:
    The lead is buried somewhere here. 
    Yeah.  I'm envisioning like....Duggaresque.
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