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blind date blind side

CasadenaCasadena member
Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I’m the adventurous sort and agreed to let a friend set me up on a blind date, only to end up getting the shock of a lifetime.

The man who came to pick me up at my place, “Kyle,” was none other than the husband of a woman I work with! I’d met him a handful of times, so that’s how I knew who he was. Kyle was incredibly panicked when I opened the door, and he saw it was me. He begged me not to say anything to his wife. According to Kyle, he has been miserable in his marriage, and seeing other women on the side helps him “maintain his sanity.” I was so flustered in the moment that I agreed to keep my mouth shut. My co-worker and Kyle have 2-year-old twins. I like her very much and have been consumed with guilt for the past month over harboring this secret. Do I owe it to her to let her know the truth about what Kyle has been doing behind her back?

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Re: blind date blind side

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    OMG the irony.
    When this situation comes up in “are we dating the same guy?” group EVERY piece of advice is to tell the wife. 
    And what a S*itstain this guy is. People need to come up with better excuses. 

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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd tell her.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You know, I really try to keep coworkers at arm's length, but I think I'd have to tell her unless I have some reason to expect she's going to blame me or something.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd probably tell her. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    He's a POS to expect her to NOT tell the Wife/Coworker, and She's a POS if she doesn't even if she uses softeners because she did go out initially (not a situation he's mid-D and stepping back out, even then wait until the gavel drops!)...  Being the adventurous type doesn't mean accepting bad behavior and okay to say "NO!" when it was someone who showed up that you know to be married.  It's also important to talk with the person who set this up because they're just as much a POS if they know he's married and still setting him up anyway!
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Do we know she went out with him though? Maybe he just left after they realized who was who?

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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Tell her. LW isn’t the first and clearly he does feel bad if he keeps doing it.

    im generally a “if you’re not involved it’s not your business” burning this case LW is involved because she was inadvertently the date. It’s your story to tell now too. 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 12
    If LW heard a rumor about Kyle or even saw him out and about with another woman, I'd say to stay out of it, if for no other reason than she didn't have the facts.

    But as @charlotte989875 said, Kyle tried to go out with LW and she's now directly involved in the situation. And now LW has at least some actual facts about Kyle's behavior. I think she should tell her co-worker what happened and let the co-worker decide what to do from there, while also being clear that she was taken aback and did not ultimately go out with Kyle (assuming she didn't, which I hope is the case!). 

    Did the friend who set them up know that Kyle is married? If so, I'd keep my distance and not let them set me up with anyone ever again!
    image
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