Wedding Woes

Legit? or overreaction?

Dear Prudence,

My friend, “Karina,” has been in a series of unhealthy relationships for the entire time I’ve known her. A few months ago, she fled her most recent abusive partner and has been rebuilding her life as a single mom.

I recently upgraded my washer and dryer, and offered the old set and some other household items to Karina. She happily accepted and said she’d stop by the next day with a friend to pick everything up. My apartment buzzer rang the next day at the agreed-upon time, but when I checked the camera, there was a large man standing at the front door. He introduced himself as “Raymon,” Karina’s new boyfriend, and said that he was there to pick everything up. I asked him to hang on while I called Karina, but she didn’t answer, so I sent him away.

Karina called me a few hours later and was absolutely furious. I am a petite woman, and I live alone. I was not comfortable inviting a large, strange man into my home with no warning, and I especially don’t trust Karina’s judgment when it comes to men. I know Karina has a lot going on, but am I in the wrong here?

Re: Legit? or overreaction?

  • I think this is a bit of an overreaction.  This isn't a false pretense - you expected it to be picked up.

    That said - I think you would have been better off telling her that next time you need to know who is showing up in advance.

    This seems far more like you really don't trust Karina at all and you're taking on a mothering role that isn't yours.  
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 19
    Oh hell no.  No way am I letting a man I've never met into my house.  I won't even open the door for utility people who are coming by if I haven't been called in advance.  Karina absolutely should've let OP know and honestly, I STILL wouldn't have let him in, I don't know him!  Karina should've been with him.  Hell, the first time I call maintenance at a new place, I have my buddy come over too, just in case.  

    This really has nothing to do with Karina's choice in men and everything to do with OP's personal safety. ETA:  personal safety in her own home and her things.
  • Nope, I wouldn't have let a strange man into my place either. Karina said she would be coming, not that she'd be sending some rando. And then she couldn't even be bothered to answer the phone when LW called and has the audacity to be upset? Hell no. 
  • If she had come with someone, then okay. But I'm not opening a door to a strange man. And why didn't Karina let LW know before hand? 


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  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No, I wouldn’t have let him in either. Not without my friend there too. 
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