Judgement is rampant here

Casadena · February 19

Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend recently asked me to spend time with her best friend. After meeting her twice, my girlfriend became very upset and told me I wasn’t behaving like the person she’s grown to love. She has said she would consider ending our relationship if I can’t be kinder and more engaged with her friend.

I don’t dislike her friend, but I’m uncomfortable around her. Before I met her, my girlfriend shared details about her friend’s very sexually active lifestyle—casual encounters, threesomes, and similar experiences—which frankly left me feeling shocked and judgmental. When we did meet, I struggled to hide my discomfort.

I love my girlfriend deeply and trust her when she tells me she doesn’t share or aspire to her friend’s lifestyle. She’s made it clear, however, that this friendship is important to her and always will be. I don’t want to lose my relationship, but I also don’t know how to reconcile my feelings about her friend or how to show up in a way that feels authentic to me. How do I navigate this without betraying my values or losing someone I love?

—Torn Between Love and Discomfort

MyNameIsNot · February 19

Oh FFS. You can't sit across the table and have a nice conversation with someone who enjoys one night stands? Get over yourself.

charlotte989875 · February 19

Why does what her friend do matter so much to you that you were visibly judgmental towards her? unless friend is like a murderer, or regularly cheating on her spouse, or like I don’t know totally lying and manipulating people she’s with- this comes off a an LW’s problem that they need to address.

But ultimately break up because your gf and her friends don’t deserve this kind of judgement. Again unless it’s like a murder situation.

banana468 · February 19

Yeah. This is a major issue if your encounter is a problem simply because of backstory.

VarunaTT · February 19

levioosa · February 19

*eye roll* Get a grip, dude. You're not handing her the lube during a one night stand. You're the one making it weird and gross. I had friends (and would hear about their friends) with some wild stories from when we were younger. I would listen in fascination/horror and then when meeting the friends have a perfectly cordial and fun time because, spoiler alert, their vaginas and nighttime activities had zero impact on the conversation at the dinner table.

Judgement is rampant here

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