Save the Date

Re: Save the Date

• banana468 member

  

  February 25

  knottieba37de9a55332f2f said:

  Hello Everyone,  My name is Bianca I am having a destination wedding Spring of next year. We are sending out our save the dates soon and I'm not sure if we should included the RSVP on them on not. We will be sending them electronically with our knot website info and a booking link to begin booking the rooms at the resort. Just not sure if we should wait until we send out the final invites to request an RSVP. The thing is since guest will be allowed to book i do want to be clear on who is invited and who is not. Ex; our wedding is adults only and we do not want any extra plus ones. so should we address the save the dates with specific names? please share any ideas or experiences on how this was done. 
  Thank you and Happy planning!

  Are you not allowing guests to bring a guest or are you not allowing those with children to bring children?
  
  
  

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• ei34 member

  

  February 25

  Address the STDs to specifically whoever is invited, and then do the same with the invitations.  I would not ask folks for rsvp's just yet, it's too far in advance.  Eight weeks or so is more reasonable.  (Although the STD going out now is appropriate- this type of advance is certainly helpful for guests who will have to travel!) But yes, address the STDs and invitations to invited guests.
  
  That said, your invitees are welcome to book a room with whoever they'd like.  For example, a couple with children might bring the whole family on their vacation, and just not bring their children to the wedding itself.  An adult without an SO, invited without a plus one, may still travel with someone else.  Etc.  

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• knottieba37de9a55332f2f newb

  

  February 25

  Both, so no children. As far as guest i mean there will be no extra guests that we don't know. ex: No they cannot bring a person they just met/dating just to have a vacation with them or a random friend. They can come to the resort of course but they will not be added as a wedding during reception. we still have to pay per person.  

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• banana468 member

  

  February 25

  knottieba37de9a55332f2f said:

  Both, so no children. As far as guest i mean there will be no extra guests that we don't know. ex: No they cannot bring a person they just met/dating just to have a vacation with them or a random friend. They can come to the resort of course but they will not be added as a wedding during reception. we still have to pay per person.  

  Ditto @ei34.  Be specific with who you are inviting named on the envelope.
  
  That said, I caution your budgeting.  Going no-kids is easy enough because people with kids will not see them invited.  But between spring 2026 and spring 2027 it's more than possible for guests who are single to be in very significant relationships by the time your wedding comes up.  The STD would be sent roughly 12-9 months before your wedding and tells guests to make travel plans.  At this point, a single guest could say that they made travel plans, booked the hotel and it's no major extra cost of rooms to add another person.  That single person could be in a very committed relationship or even married by the time your wedding invitations go out.  And if your wedding is a destination wedding as this stands, you're asking people to book travel expenses and possibly PTO but not budget for a possible extra meal?  Consider what you can do to amend that.
  
  I'm married 19 years this year.  In the 6 months prior to our wedding there were at least 3 couples that we knew of who started dating a year or less prior to our wedding who are still together and/or married.  It would have been majorly detrimental to our relationships if we told the guests that their partners were not invited.  We are now related to them by marriage!    And it's tricky to ask people to show up an honor a relationship if theirs isn't.   
  
  
  

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• knottieba37de9a55332f2f newb

  

  February 25

  ok got it! yes that makes sense. i was thinking this but needed some other thoughts lol. Thanks so much. 

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• knottieba37de9a55332f2f newb

  

  February 25

  Totally understand this. Also when the save the dates go out I will be specific but i will not do an RSVP now. But they will be able to book rooms at the resort as i already have a room block contract.
  And you are right there is a possibility that someone may be in a serious relationship by then. So with that said we will gladly add that person to the guest list in hopes that by the time i send the actual invitations with the RSVPS there will be a more solid number of guest and we will know the relationship statuses. However, we are choosing celebrate our union in front of close family and friends. Our guestlist is selective for a reason, weddings to us is intimate. Therefore, no we cannot accommodate for random friends or travel buddies. If someone gets in a serious relationship then of course! that's different that wont be a problem. 

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• banana468 member

  

  February 25

  knottieba37de9a55332f2f said:

  Totally understand this. Also when the save the dates go out I will be specific but i will not do an RSVP now. But they will be able to book rooms at the resort as i already have a room block contract.
  And you are right there is a possibility that someone may be in a serious relationship by then. So with that said we will gladly add that person to the guest list in hopes that by the time i send the actual invitations with the RSVPS there will be a more solid number of guest and we will know the relationship statuses. However, we are choosing celebrate our union in front of close family and friends. Our guestlist is selective for a reason, weddings to us is intimate. Therefore, no we cannot accommodate for random friends or travel buddies. If someone gets in a serious relationship then of course! that's different that wont be a problem. 

  Makes sense!     

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