Thank you for any help you can provide to helpo bring perspective to this matter. Please be kind with thoughts/ advice. I am going through a very hard time right now.
I am the MOB for my daughter's destination wedding. Unfortunately, it looks like her father and I will be going through a divorce and will attend the wedding separately. My daughter is planning to rent a couple of BNBs for the groomsmen and the bridal parties. She said that they intend to keep this location separate from the other guests (in a different area) and she wants to do activities with just the wedding party before the wedding. They also plan to do an excursion after the wedding with just the wedding party. Of note is that the after wedding excursion is a strenuous activity, so most of the other guests probably would not be able to keep up.
I understand that they will be doing their own thing most of the time, but to receive a blanket, "you are not welcome at the bridal compound" before the wedding seems a little harsh. TBH, it sounds like a very lonely event for me and I am thinking that I will not go. I have helped a great deal with arrangements to date, went on a scouting trip with my daughter to the destination, helped her shop for the dress, etc... I plan to continue to help and support her where and when I can. But I just do not feel welcome at the wedding, so I do not think I will go. It seems my daughter is being rather cliquey with the young guests and that this wedding is for her (of course) and for her friends, and I (and the other older guests) are just a prop.
She has explained that if her father and I proceed with the divorce, there will be no plus one invites- something I very much agree with. I have no living family and the only other people present I am friends with are actually my SIL & their family. I will likely not be included with that group due to the pending divorce. So, I was thinking of just being as helpful as I can be, but not attending the wedding. She state that she does not intend to have children and she is building deep friendships with her friends. I think I should just step back and let her pursue what she wants. I really do believe that she thinks I am an inconvenience that she has to put up with. I understand doing something with just the bridal party after the wedding, but I just think total isolation before the wedding with the bridal party comes off as not welcoming.