Wedding Woes

LOL, the karma

I had a whirlwind romance where I married a man a decade older than me after a year of dating. Maybe I was naive, but we had known each other socially our entire lives, and our parents are old friends who still go on vacation together. We were talking kids when I found his not-so-ex-girlfriend swaying around in my kitchen, eating my food, and wearing my robe. I came home early from work because I wasn’t feeling well, and I wish I could say I shoved her out the door and took my robe back. Instead, I stuttered an apology and ran away. I didn’t even return to our place until I filed for divorce. My ex didn’t contest the divorce. I called, and he said, “Oh,” when I confronted him and “OK” when I asked for the divorce. It was as painless as possible … so like pulling out a rotten tooth with a string.

Here is the thing. He married this woman almost immediately after our divorce, and his mother hated her. Then and now. I moved on, married, and have two beautiful children. I still socially saw my ex-mother-in-law and conversed with her occasionally. But never in a million years did I expect that she would leave me her heirloom jewelry in her will. Her passing was sudden, but her will was a complete shock.

It is an obvious and deliberate slight against her daughter-in-law, but a dark part of me is delighted. It feels like it’s karma. My ex has asked for the jewelry back, but my husband thinks he should pay the market rate at least. Part of me believes that paying is the least the pair of them could do, but another part just wants to dump this entire mess. My ex has cousins, and I am sure they would accept their aunt’s jewelry. So what should I do?

—In the Will

Re: LOL, the karma

  • I mean, at minimum I'd have it appraised and make him pay that plus any $ the divorce cost you if he wants it.

    Maybe he shouldn't have brought a mistress into your marital bed to wear your clothing.  Too bad so sad. 
  • Does LW like them and want them? They were willed. But if LW doesn’t, selling it back is kinda petty, just give them back.

  • I wouldn't even consider selling it to him. Your  former MIL wanted you to have it and I would want to honor that. 
  • Let me play the tiniest of violins for ex-H. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes (or rather, no prizes in this case). If the jewelry doesn't bother you emotionally, keep it. It was given to you. If you can't emotionally handle it, get it appraised and sell it and if you're feeling magnanimous you can let ex-H know where he can go buy it. 


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