Wedding Woes

Don't engage


Dear Prudence,

My mother-in-law takes advantage of every family gathering to launch into a dissertation of each and every thing she can’t stand about her husband, from his failure to satisfy her in bed to excessive flatulence. My requests to my wife to tell her oversharing mother to STFU are met with commiseration, but she claims that she can’t do anything about it.

This is our year to host Easter dinner, and I have no desire to have the occasion turned into a group therapy session for her. When the time comes, I’m ready to tell my wife I’m taking the kids to the store and then sneak them over to my parents’ place just over our state line for Easter. Do I have permission to do that since my wife refuses to put her foot down?

—Save it For an Actual Shrink

Re: Don't engage

  • "This is inappropriate table discussion.  You're welcome to be a sound board for your mom but the table is not it and certainly not in my house.  I need you to back up that her constant disparagement of a partner is completely inappropriate for our children to hear and in addition it's over the line.  It's time that it stops and if it doesn't I think you're welcome to host your mom but I'll be taking the children to my parents' for Easter."   
  • "Wow, this is really inappropriate conversation to be having in front of our kids. Joey and Susie, let's take a ride." 

    This is her mother, the wife probably knows very well that she can't do anything about it. Instead, of trying to get her to shut up, they could work together on how to remove LW and kids from the conversation. 
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