Dear Prudence,
I’m a middle-aged gay man. With the exception of a high school girlfriend, with whom I quickly broke up with before I figured out my true identity, I’ve always had relationships with men.
A few months ago, I met a woman and I fear I’ve fallen in love with her. She’s smart, beautiful, and we have many things in common. I thought she was just a good friend but I’ve found myself feeling attracted to her in a way I’ve never felt attracted to a woman. And I think she is attracted to me too. What’s going on here? Maybe I’m bi? That would be insane since I’ve always been proud to be gay! I love men! Although apparently now I also love this woman. Am I just in the midst of a mid-life crisis?
It’s confusing. I don’t know how to explain this to any of my friends for fear they’ll laugh at me, but at the same time I feel she likes me and I like her, so why not give it a try? Then I think about how tackling my first serious relationship with a woman in my forties is crazy. I thought I had this all figured out over 20 years ago. Can you really change your mind about something as big as this?
—Blindsided