Wedding Woes

5 year olds are a hoot

Dear Prudence,

I teach kindergarten, and “Dean,” the son of two of my friends, “Belinda” and “Don,” is among my students. During a recent classroom activity, Dean said something that has me a bit concerned about his home life.

My sister took a trip to Europe a couple of weeks ago and brought back some small tins of hard candies from the country she visited for my students. I distributed the candies for an activity in which the kids would taste each color and see if they could name the flavor. When we got to the honey-flavored one, no one knew what it was, so I gave them a hint by saying that bees made it. After I still didn’t get an answer, I told them it was something their mommy calls their daddy. That’s when Dean shouted, “Spit it out! It’s an asshole!” I quickly changed the subject.

Belinda and Don have always seemed like they have a great marriage; our entire social group says it’s what everyone is aiming for in theirs. Should I tell Belinda what Dean said and ask if everything is all right between her and Don, or do I just pretend the candy episode never happened?

Re: 5 year olds are a hoot

  • I'd present it as humorous. 

    Maybe they're at each other's throats.  Having kids can be super rough.  Or maybe it's also a pet  name.

    I also think LW is really remiss here.  Not all families are as conventional as they describe.  Plenty of households do not have a mommy and daddy and many kids don't live with both parents.   While that's not the entire point here, the teacher should really reframe some of the societal expectations they have because this could have also turned out way worse. 
  • Or the word came out in an innocent fight? I’ve called my ex an a*shole a time or two when arguing. 
    Then again, I’m divorced….

  • ei34ei34 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Kids say the darnedest things.  I know several friends who call their H's that and their marriages are fine.  I don't personally us the word, but friends using it wouldn't keep me up at night.
  • This feels fake to me. I'm sure the majority of 5 year olds know the term asshole and have probably heard one parent call the other parent a name here or there, but this feels more like a joke that a 12 year old would put together. Plus the pearl clutching about Mommy calling Daddy a name means LW needs to check in on the health of the marriage.  
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