Dear Prudence,
For the past three years, my partner and I (both women) have been really suffering at the hands of a next-door neighbor who has been vindictively attacking us via the legal system in property and in civil court, from stalking cases (after I tried to get protection from him) to disputing our boundaries when we complained to him about a fence on our property. My elderly parents live with us, and the neighbor has even drawn my father in as he blocks my handicapped mother from being able to use our own driveway. Even though much of his information is incorrect and his ideas are fanciful (i.e. he thinks owns a chunk of our backyard), he has a right to due process and thus we have had several court cases with him (we are pro bono, he hires lawyers) and more coming.
It is causing such pain in our family and relationship—part of me wants to keep fighting, and the other part wants to just give up and settle and move as far away from him as possible. But as a queer woman who has fought hard for her rights and her ability to own a home, as well as to give shelter to my parents in a place where I have lived for decades—I hate to give up. But should we? Is it better just to end the situation on (sort of) our own terms and stop fighting even though he is so wrong and a homophobe to boot? Every time we fight back, something terrible happens, from him calling the sheriff on us to putting up signs in our back yard.