Dear Prudence,
I appear as a middle-aged straight male married to a woman and have two kids in college. Since I was a teenager, I have kept hidden the fact that I want to be a woman. I thought getting married would eliminate those desires. Over the years, those desires have grown. I have cross-dressed in private and public discreetly.
Four years ago, I started gender identity counseling privately. Counseling confirmed I am really a straight woman. I have never been interested in a gay relationship with a man. It won’t be easy, but I would like to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) shortly and hopefully have gender reassignment surgery. My problem is how to come out. I don’t want to lose my home, wife (as a friend), and kids, but I also want to be living a full life as a woman with the possibility of a relationship with a man.