Dear Prudence,
A few days ago, I was at the doctor’s office with my wife to discuss my upcoming same-day surgery procedure with a nurse. What happened has my wife livid, and I don’t think I did anything wrong, so asking for your opinion. Almost 30 years ago (my wife and I have been married 25 years), I dated a divorced lady, “Marie,” with three young girls. All three were named after a country, and their father was in prison, so money was tight for her. We dated for about a year, and she decided she couldn’t continue to afford to live in the area anymore and had to move back home with her parents, and I had a one-bedroom house, so no room there. I tried long-distance dating, but that didn’t work out.
At the doctor’s office, we were meeting with a nurse who had the same name as one of her kids on her name tag. I asked if it was her, and mentioned her maiden last name. She looked at me and said her last name was now “Smith” and said, “Why do you ask?” I told her that she probably didn’t remember me, but that I had dated her mom for a while, 30 years ago. She questionably looked at me, and I said I had the faded red pickup that her and her sisters called “the Barbie pickup.” She said, “Now I remember, your parents had that player piano.” She asked if I still had that (which I don’t), and that she and her sisters still talk about it on occasion. I introduced her to my wife, and a few other comments about my kids, her family, etc., were made. The conversation wasn’t more than five minutes, and we went back to discussing my surgery.
Boy, did I get chewed out by my wife when we were leaving the office about how inappropriate it was for me to bring this up at a doctor’s office and why I would even say anything to her, considering I had dated her mom 30 years ago. My wife knew about this relationship, and we even joked about whether we were going to have a theme for our kids’ names, as my ex once did with her daughters. She has been giving me the cold shoulder, minimal care in helping me after the surgery, and says I need to apologize for my behavior at the doctor’s office. I still don’t think I did anything wrong, especially when I point out that she had no problem talking to her ex-fiancé’s family when we happened to cross paths with them. According to her, “This was different.” Your thoughts, please?