Wedding Woes

You didn't do anything?

Dear Prudence,

Three months ago, a couple moved into the house next to my family’s. To say they are awful would be the understatement of the century, the husband, “Jerry,” especially.

A few weeks ago, Jerry made some lewd comments to my 17-year-old daughter about her breasts when she and her 12-year-old brother “Kenneth” were getting out of her car after school (she drops him off and picks him up). I was furious, but my husband told her to ignore him. The next day, I was in my kitchen when I heard a torrent of profanity coming from the direction of my backyard. I went outside to hear Jerry screaming every obscenity imaginable (and some I didn’t know existed). I asked him through the fence what was wrong, and he said that someone had put soap in his koi pond and all the fish were dead.

A day later, I overheard Kenneth and his sister laughing about his “aim.” When I confronted them, my son admitted to throwing dishwasher pods into Jerry’s koi pond. While I certainly don’t condone killing fish to get back at that POS, I can’t say I entirely blame Kenneth, either. I also have a sense that he might not have taken matters into his own hands had my husband been a man and stood up for our daughter. The fence that is next to the koi pond separated it from a much-traveled sidewalk on the other side, so Jerry doesn’t know who was responsible for the koi’s demise. Do I have permission to look the other way?

Re: You didn't do anything?

  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Wow there is a lot to unpack here. 


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  • Yeah, so handling the  neighbor's sexual harassment is dad's job? 

    I don't think dad's advice was entirely wrong to his teenager but also think he only did half the job.  17 year old ignores awful man but dad needs to step up and defend his daughter.  Otherwise the only hope you have for the future of the male species  is your 12 year old son
  • I wouldn't be sending the kid over to apologize (mostly because Jerry seems unhinged and dangerous), but we'd be having a conversation about why that was not an appropriate retaliation. As well as a lot of conversation about how BOTH parents failed in refusing to confront Jerry. 
  • So you are just… not parenting? 

    You (or your husband) should have said something, anything about the sexual harassment to Jerry, and told your daughter to tell yo immediately if it happens again. 

    What Kenneth did was wrong and you need to address it with him. Poisoning animals, even if their owner is horrible, is cruel and he needs to be told that. 
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