Why do grown-ups care about this?

Casadena · April 16

Dear Prudence,

My husband and I have been married for almost 12 years, but we started dating in high school, so I’ve known his family for 24 years at this point. My mother-in-law has routinely “forgotten” my birthday nearly every year recently. Even if my husband reminds her, I don’t get a “Happy Birthday,” a Facebook message (even though she’s on Facebook constantly and would see the reminder there), or anything.

It’s really hard not to take this personally, especially since just days ago, I saw she had written an effusive message to my brother-in-law’s fiancée for her birthday. I am so hurt and confused. I once expressed how this made me feel to her several years ago, and despite an apology in the moment, nothing has changed. Now I feel like I just want to create more distance there to protect myself from further hurt feelings. Do you have any advice?

levioosa · April 16

It’s the combo of knowing them forever and having MIL obviously be able to keep track of other in-laws bdays. It feels like a dig because it probably is and is also probably just the tip of other hurts LW has felt over the years.

banana468 · April 16

levioosa said:

It’s the combo of knowing them forever and having MIL obviously be able to keep track of other in-laws bdays. It feels like a dig because it probably is and is also probably just the tip of other hurts LW has felt over the years.

Yup. It's time to lay out the pattern of behavior to the H. And that means that being looked at as an oversight also means that you'll prioritize in kind.

Why do grown-ups care about this?

Re: Why do grown-ups care about this?

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