Dear Prudence,
I’m a 40-year-old straight woman, and I’ve never been in a serious romantic relationship. I have plenty of wonderful people in my life, but I’ve been a particularly late bloomer. I’ve recently begun dating a 47-year-old man who is lovely; he dotes on me, feeds me, and adores me. I imagine he is someone that I can settle down with, and feel that possibility acutely.
However, our relationship feels like just that … settling. I don’t feel expansive or enamoured with him. I’m self-conscious about my age and whether or not there’s a chance for me to find someone who is on my wavelength and makes my heart light up, and I simultaneously don’t want to miss the boat in having kids. I’m open to adopting, but would love my own. I would tell someone else in my position not to settle, but I’m, um, what’s the word, freaking out. Thoughts?