Dear Prudence,
Last night, my best friend butt-dialed me while engaged in a tearful conversation with her erstwhile love interest, a guy she hooked up with for a while who made no secret of pursuing other women at the same time.
When I last spoke to her a week ago, she said they were just good friends now. But during the call, which left a two-minute voicemail on my phone, she insisted she loved him and wanted to support him. “I’m broken,” he said, “I’d rather you put your effort and energy toward a man who wants to be with you.” “You’re not broken, you’re just bent,” she replied, and insisted again that she wanted to stand by him while he worked through his issues.
This was painful to listen to (should I have deleted it once I realized what it was without listening? Maybe), and now I’m wondering: Do I tell her what I heard? I only got those two minutes, so I may not have all the context, but the issue is familiar to her family members and me. We have all told her to lose the guy. The problem is none of us live anywhere near her, and in the past, when I said she ought to stop hanging out with him entirely, she said she was lonely, and he was her best friend in the city. I want to text her and tell her about the butt dial. Maybe there’s a way I could send her the recording, even, so she could hear herself and realize he’s clearly telling her to move on. It would be painful, but I think helpful? Or is this simply cruel?