Wedding Woes

Always the breakee never the breakuper

Dear Prudence,

I’ve been dating a great guy for a little over a year now (I’m a woman and we’re both in our late-20s). He’s wonderful, and I definitely see a future with him, to the point that this might seem like a petty issue.

But, as far as I can gather, he has never broken up with anyone. Instead, every serious to semi-serious relationship he’s been in, going back to his teens, has ended when the woman broke up with him. Am I right to think this is a bit weird? He’s a good-natured guy, but it’s hard to believe that everyone he’s dated has been a good enough fit that he could have stayed with them indefinitely. It makes me feel like I might not be that special, and just a warm body that’s as good as any other and hasn’t called things off yet. It seems weird to say, “Hey, it makes me kind of uncomfortable that you’ve been dumped so much.” Should I bring this up, or am I reading too much into it?

Re: Always the breakee never the breakuper

  • Jesus. How do you feel about him? What if you weren’t overthinking this and never had this info? And have you ever even asked him about past relationships? Just because someone broke up with him first doesn’t mean he was always happy in the relationships. 


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  • You know what’s funny? I don’t think I’ve ever asked a guy I’ve dated who did the dumping. It never occurred to me
    to even care?

  • It sounds like you're looking for a problem. Maybe dig into whether there's something you haven't put your finger on that is the real issue?

    But really, this is a nothing burger. Maybe he was thinking about it and others beat him to the punch. Maybe he was happy and didn't see his partner wasn't. Maybe he was 19 and just so excited to have a girlfriend that it didn't matter who she was. 
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