Dear Prudence,
I recently went abroad on a three-month sabbatical. A friend of mine, “Rudy,” is staying at my apartment to watch my dog, and while he is extremely responsible and lovely in nearly every way, I’m facing a mortifying situation that I don’t know how to handle. I use an app that connects to a camera in my apartment, located in the living room, so I can see what my dog is doing and make sure that everything is OK. I didn’t disclose this to Rudy—I know multiple dog owners that use similar apps, and he dogsits pretty frequently, so I figured he’d be familiar with this. However, I’m realizing he might be completely unaware of this possibility … because he is constantly in the nude while in my apartment!
He sits on the couch naked (without sitting on anything) and, to my complete horror, has been using my Peloton bike completely naked as well. I’m grossed out from a hygiene perspective, and I also have no interest in seeing my friend in the buff when I’m just trying to make sure my dog is OK. I’m hesitant about asking him to stop since I didn’t tell him there were cameras in my apartment, and I’m sure he would be embarrassed. I’m also concerned that he would be so upset I didn’t disclose this to him and would refuse to continue dogsitting, something I don’t want to deal with while I’m out of the country. My dog has health problems that require medications, and I’ve had negative experiences in the past with pet sitters I don’t know well, found via apps. I’m also not paying Rudy because he insists on doing it for free, so I’m concerned that he is less committed than he would be if he were doing this for a living.
My dog is safe and sound, and I know that ultimately that’s what matters, but I can’t stop thinking about this to the point that it’s actively distracting me. Do you think there’s a sensitive way to approach this with him that won’t scar both of us for life and sabotage our friendship? Was it atrociously unethical that I didn’t tell him about these cameras? Should I just try to let it go while preparing to get a new couch and bleach the seat of my Peloton when I return?