Does she want you to?

Casadena · April 30

Dear Prudence,

My wife lost her mom earlier this year and is going through the wringer. She still bursts into tears spontaneously, is struggling to sleep, and has horrible nightmares when she does. She’s talking to a therapist, but everything overwhelms her at the moment. I want to warn people that she’s feeling very sensitive at the moment without going into too much detail or being a complete downer. Any thoughts?

CharmedPam · April 30

Just as you wrote it. “My wife is going through some things at the moment if you feel she’s a bit off today”.
And then talk about how this damn rain will never end. When was the last sunny day we had?

ei34 · April 30

Is she asking you to let people know? Are others asking you what's up (guessing not, since complete strangers wouldn't notice anything was off and people close enough to know she's not herself would also know that she suffered a huge loss recently)?

I'd just try to be as supportive as possible. For many, loss of a parent is a life altering event.

MyNameIsNot · April 30

She's grieving and you're worried about what random people think of her?

downtondiva · May 1

In what context are you thinking that you should "warn people" about your wife's emotional state? Has she asked you to explain to people if she suddenly starts crying or gets overwhelmed by something she normally wouldn't?

If you haven't talked to her about this, do so. And try not to push her into social situations she's not feeling up to or anything else that could unnecessarily overwhelm her. Let her take the lead on what she thinks she can handle.

charlotte989875 · May 1

This feels like an effort to be supportive that actually isn’t. Maybe talk with her about how supported she feels, are there things she needs or wants from you, and how to best help her through her grief.

Does she want you to?

Re: Does she want you to?

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