Dear Prudence,
My mother passed away recently. We are all beside ourselves, but on the night she died, I found out something I wish I hadn’t.
She was sharing very intimate texts with two people outside of her marriage: one was a close friend of the family, and one was someone I’d never heard of before. Obviously, I’m horrified. My mom and dad’s marriage wasn’t perfect; they were awful to each other in all sorts of ways, but it just feels so gross to me to know she was sending messages like that to other men, especially someone close to both her and my dad. The texts weren’t sexual in nature, but they were beyond mere friendship. It was obvious both men had romantic feelings for my mother, and it seems like she reciprocated, on some level.
My dad knows, and he’s very upset. He won’t talk to us about it, despite my efforts to make sure he knows I am always open to it. Alongside coping with our loss, how do I come to terms with the fact that my mother was unfaithful? And how do I support my father, her husband of 21 years, through the revelation?