Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Male Engagement Rings

My boyfriend and I were recently talking about the idea of him wearing an engagement ring.  Suprisingly he wants one, where I am apathetic about the issue.  In this situation would he wear an engagement ring until the wedding, then get his wedding ring when we get married?  Or would there just be one ring?  Most of my friends bfs/fiances/ husbands don't even care much about the wedding ring so I have no idea where to go with this/what is proper etiquette.

Re: Male Engagement Rings

  • This question always cracks me up. I think its a "young person" thing...? Personally, I think its totally weird and I would laugh at a dude with an e-ring. Screams wussy.
  • It's not all that common, so there aren't really any rules to it.  He can do it however he likes.
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  • I think I remember reading somewhere that in some Hispanic cultures, men wear engagement rings too.  I have to say, I haven't seen it, and my FI definitely didn't want one.  I mean, what would you do with the male e-ring after you got married?  Would your FI wear two rings?
  • A guy friend of mine wore his wedding band during his engagement.  Not a lot of guys do this but his thinking was "how come she's the only one who gets to show off that she's engaged?!"  So that was that.  He just wore the same one after the wedding.

    My fiance has said that he wants to wear his ring now, but he isn't actually going to wear it.  I think he's just excited.
  • This is done in Brazil.  Basically, the guy buys a wedding band and wears it on his right hand to show he's engaged.  When he gets married, he moves it to his left.  My FI is Brazilian, but he chose to just do it the American way.  I have never heard of this tradition being done in the U.S., and there's nothing wrong with it if you want to do it. 
  • My fiance has one and he wanted one.

    I bought him a pretty good quality one for $100.  We plan to double that as the wedding ring on the day of the ceremony and then get a nicer band for our first anniversary when we can save up a little more money.  Most men I know who had e-rings just used it as their wedding band.  Then when they replaced it with a wedding band they donated the ering to a Goodwill or sold it on Craigslist to a couple who needed a ring but couldn't afford to pay a whole lot.
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  • This question has been asked many times before on the boards and the general consensus has always been:  If he wants to wear one, then he can.

    It depends on the guy really.  My FI would never want to do that.  If he wore an engagement ring on his left hand, people would think he was already married, if it's on his right hand, then it would just be considered a regular ring.  And frankly, I'm sure if he told his coworkers that the band was an engagement ring, he'd get the side-eye.  But that's because it's not something generally seen here. 

    There are many countries all over the world where both bride and groom-to-be wear engagement rings.  It's just the culture.  I think in the Western World though, it's more to do with being, maybe a little, socially liberal.  Make men and women equal.  If a woman wears an engagement ring, then the man should have the option too.  Nothing wrong with that though.
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: Male Engagement Rings</a>:
    [QUOTE]This question always cracks me up. I think its a "young person" thing...? Personally, I think its totally weird and I would laugh at a dude with an e-ring. Screams wussy.
    Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

    This comment is disgusting. I'm glad you're a big "wussy" to wear an e-ring, but don't think it's okay for your FI to want to commit in a way that everyone sees he is taken. It's actually incredibly romantic. My FI didn't wear an e-ring, but then again, neither did I. Also, why would you laugh at a man for wearing an e-ring, but expect him to wear a wedding ring? Really, what is the effin difference.
  • personally though, I think he could wear a cheaper ring right now and then switch to an awesome ring when you get married. Or he could wear the same ring the whole time. My FI likes to wear his wedding band already! I dont' particularly like this because I think it will be more special to exchange rings during the ceremony if we haven't worn them every day! But it doesn't really matter I suppose.
  • I only know one guy who wore a ring while he was engaged. He wore it on his right hand until they got married, then moved it to the left hand and it became his wedding band.

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  • in some cultures the guy wears an e-ring. in middle eastern cultures especially. the wedding band worn on the right hand is the e-ring. on the day of the wedding they take it off the right hand and put it on the left hand. Same for women.

    if your FI wants to wear the e-ring by all means forget what other people might say. those other people dont count. those other people will not be there in your time of need so dont bother with what they think. enjoy the engagement and express it however you both feel comfortable expressing.
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  • NukkeNukke member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    In Finland, this is how it's done.  When a man proposes to his lady (or his lady proposes to him), he actually purchases TWO rings--one for himself and one for her.  The rings look more like wedding bands, though--they're usually a solid gold band with no jewels or other adornment on it.  Then during the wedding ceremony, the man gives his bride a diamond ring (or fancier ring).  Also the rings are worn on the right hand, not the left. 

    I think if your future hubby wants an engagement ring, then get him one.  Then you can either have him remove it for the ceremony (so you can exchange rings and have him only wear one) or get him a wedding band if he wants to wear two.  Do as you like, and don't worry about other people.  :)
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  • if he wants one let him wear one.  my FI has one because he thinks he should be able to show other people that he is engaged (it was his idea!).  the woman isn't the only one who is engaged. I think it is romantic and shows that he is just as commited to the relationship as i am.  to those who think it screams "wussy"  you sound like a prudish class-a B---- who has bigger problems than whether or not your man will wear an e-ring.  My FI is far from being a wuss.
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  • My FI wanted one.  We went out and got nice silver rings (before he could afford my diamond e-ring).  I used that silver ring as a way of getting used to the e-ring before I got the one with my grandma's stone in it, knowing I might loose it.  He got one because he wanted it, but it was also a place holder...he has the opportunity to get used to having a ring, with no real prssure that he might loose it (and it turns out we both lost them).  Now that we are picking up our custom made wedding bands next week, he is looking forward to taking the cheap thing off that he found to replace the nice one he lost, and putting on his wedding band.  He wanted one, but I look at it more as practice so he does not loose the real thing...
  • My FI didn't even want a wedding band.  He had never worn jewelry and it seems weird to him.  We bought a wedding band, I'm not sure he will wear it all the time though. 

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  • My FI wears an e-ring. It has half a carat diamonds. His wedding band will be a full carat. People ask him if he's married all the time. He loves to wear it. Its his favorite piece of jewlery. He loves diamonds just as much as I do if not more. If your FI wants to wear one let me. He's NOT a wussy to wear one. Its romantic that he wants everyone to know its engaged, he's proud of that. :)
  • He's not a sissy if he wants to wear an e-ring too - it tells every other lady out there that your man is taken! 

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  • Okay let me re-phrase. I don't think that a man is a wussy if he wears an e-ring. I think that the whole idea of a man wearing one seems wussy. Probably because I'm very traditional and have never heard of that prior to reading it on these boards. I'm not a fan of "whatever the bride gets/does/wears, so does the groom". I think its goofy. And everyone knows that my FI is "taken"...based on his actions.
  • My fiance doesn't wear an engagement ring, but he has a claddagh ring that I bought him before we became engaged and so after he asked me to marry him he just switched to wearing his claddagh ring in the "engagement" position, which is on his left hand with the point of the heart facing outward toward his fingernail. For the wedding he will get a new wedding ring and go back to wearing the claddagh ring on his right hand with the heart pointing inward - the "taken" position.
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  • NukkeNukke member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    <div align="left">[QUOTE]Okay let me re-phrase. I don't think that a man is a wussy if he wears an e-ring. I think that the whole idea of a man wearing one seems wussy. Probably because I'm very traditional and have never heard of that prior to reading it on these boards. I'm not a fan of "whatever the bride gets/does/wears, so does the groom". I think its goofy. And everyone knows that my FI is "taken"...based on his actions.
    Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry you consider something from your own heritage "goofy" or "wussy".  You should probably know that it's also Norwegian tradition for both the man and woman to wear engagement rings.  This "traditional" view of yours regarding the inequality between the sexes is very Victorian-English, and not at all Norwegian.</div>
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  • My fiance has an engagement ring, simply because our engagement is longer than 3 years (we're waiting to graduate college first). He's at a military academy, and a lot of the guys there wear an engagement ring to show that they're taken, and they have something to look forward to when they graduate other than deployment. He lets anyone and everyone know that he's taken - so it's not like the ring is there because he doesn't 'act' engaged. He just wanted to look down at and remind him that when things get tough, we're in this together.
  • Mi fiance and I each have engagement rings. When we first started dating around 7 years ago, we surprised each other on one of our anniversaries with claddagh rings - neither one of us knew what the other was planning! Then, on our 7 year anniversary, we each secretly purchased an engagement ring for the other and proposed to each other at the same time. He got me an emerald with diamonds to match my eyes and I gave him a sapphire to match his. He loves to show it off, and wears it proudly as just another sign of our commitment.

    Personally I think that whatever the couple wants to do is wonderful - traditions are started not because someone dictates something, but because enought people thought that it would be nice. I say get one for him! : )
  • For us, we've discussed it for a different reason.  I'm sort of uncomfortable with the idea of an engagment ring being the focus of an engagement - that as soon as you tell most people you're engaged, the first question they ask is about the ring.  I'd rather it be about the proposal - that's what matters.  The couple and their relationship and their intended commitment is what matters, the ring is just shiny but ultimately unimportant in the scheme of things.  It's what it represents that matters.

    So I don't really look forward to having people go, "Oh! Let me see!" and grabbing my hand.  BF and I agreed also that it wasn't quite fair for him to spend a lot of money on my ring and nothing on him.  So I'm going to buy him an engagement watch - it's something he'd never buy for himself (it's $800!) but something he'll have forever and can be an heirloom piece also to someday pass on to our (future/hypothetical) son, as I would like to pass on my ring to my (future/hypothetical) daughter.

    When someone goes, "Oh, let me see!" BF is going to stick out his watch, and I'll keep my hand by my side.  I'm looking forward to the confused looks.

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  • My fiance wears an e-ring as well- it's a simple, plain titanium band that looks great on him. There is nothing wrong about a man wearing a ring.
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  • I purchased a plain silver band as an engagement ring for my fiance. He wanted a ring. I'm totally not a ring person. My gift is something a bit more unique and unconventional, it's my avatar and it's a handcarved drinking horn from a bull with two quotes from Beowulf and figures of bears with garnet eyes. Anyway, the ladies at the jewellry store added "for mom" on the package with the ring in it without even asking me who it was for first!
    When I brought him in to get his finger sized, they seemed shocked that it was a man, and not just a man but one who was getting an engagement ring. They had plenty of rings for men, but none labelled as engagement rings.
    I do not have a ring myself. I have my grandmother's but it doesn't fit and I'd rather not resize it and ruin it.

    I see no issue with you getting a ring for him if that's what he wants. It's his hand after all! My fiance and I are gettting each other matching wedding bands and he supposes he'll wear both rings regardless of if they match or not. You and yours can totally do whatever you want.
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