Cost of Bridesmaid Dresses?

woodsandminkin · November 2010

My two cousins who are both sisters agreed to buy my bridesmaid dresses a year ago when they were $225. At the time I sent out the link, they both said, "the dresses are gorgeous, we will wear whatever you ask us to wear." Since then, they've gone on sale to $180, but now my cousins are telling me that it is way too unrealistic to expect them to buy this dress. They have said that the dresses are "too average, will never be worn again, and maybe if they were $150" they would buy them. I am just wanting to hear from some other brides, how much were your dresses? Bear in mind, these are from J. Crew, they are short dresses and really run pretty true to size so should not require alterations. This is also the ONLY thing I am asking my wedding party to purchase, as I am paying for shoes and not requiring people to get hair and make-up done, and these cousins live in my hometown where the wedding will be held. With that being said, am I being unrealistic?

AutumnFair · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaid-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:537b1c92-63f8-4810-8d43-b85627d3c034Post:71f3b8c9-744e-4cf9-9033-7893b5c7e9f2">Cost of Bridesmaid Dresses?</a>:
[QUOTE]My two cousins who are both sisters agreed to buy my bridesmaid dresses a year ago when they were $225. At the time I sent out the link, they both said, "the dresses are gorgeous, we will wear whatever you ask us to wear." Since then, they've gone on sale to $180, but now my cousins are telling me that it is way too unrealistic to expect them to buy this dress. They have said that the dresses are "too average, will never be worn again, and maybe if they were $150" they would buy them. I am just wanting to hear from some other brides, how much were your dresses? Bear in mind, these are from J. Crew, they are short dresses and really run pretty true to size so should not require alterations. This is also the ONLY thing I am asking my wedding party to purchase, as I am paying for shoes and not requiring people to get hair and make-up done, and these cousins live in my hometown where the wedding will be held. With that being said, am I being unrealistic?
Posted by woodsandminkin[/QUOTE]

<div>Yep, people's financial states change and if they have came to you requesting a cheaper dress then respect their wishes. The other thing you can do is help out with the cost of the dress.</div><div>
</div><div>I've been in a number of wedding and the range I have done is $30-160, the Bride also asked us what we were comfortable in spending (individually). </div>

SSaltzman87 · November 2010

IMHO, $180 for a shorter length dress is pushing it. Even though it may run true to size, you never know who may need alterations for length and whatnot. Alterations aren't cheap, even if it's just a hem. Even if your BMs did okay the price, financial situations can change all the time. It wouldn't hurt to look for cheaper options.

I won't make my BMs pay more than $120 for a dress, and plan on telling them they can wear any dressy, black shoe- doesn't matter if it's heels or flats. I'm also not requiring professional hair, makeup, nails etc.-if they choose to spend that money, they can.

You're being SUPER generous by paying for shoes, hair and makeup done-not many brides can shell out the money for all that, I know I won't be able to.

banana468 · November 2010

The rule is, if your BMs tell you that the dress is out of their budget then it's too much.

So just ask them what their budgets are and shop accordingly.

Manwaithiel · November 2010

*sigh*
Why did you pick out a dress so early for a wedding that is still about 7.5 months away? Why? You should have only STARTED shopping about now. Not had a dress and had them purchasing it. Already.

I don't really know what to tell you. I guess you could ask them to get a dress they want in a similar color, fabric, and length and just let it go.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

And that's why you don't shop for bridesmaid dresses so ridiculously far in advance...

AutumnFair · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaid-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:537b1c92-63f8-4810-8d43-b85627d3c034Post:54e643a9-08a2-4ff2-8ad7-b5227eeedbe8">Re: Cost of Bridesmaid Dresses?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have taken all of this into considerationg, trust me. I asked everyone's budgets beforehand and everyone agreed that the dress was okay. I understand things change, but like I said, they're family. Our family has said numerous times that they would help pay for these two girls' dresses, but the girls said they just don't want to do it. They also drove to Atlanta (5 hours away) to buy the dress a month ago knowing how much it cost when they went with the intention of buying the dress. When they got to the store and saw the dress, they decided they could no longer afford it. That is where my issue was. They have not asked me to help them, they just said I was being unrealistic and they would not buy the dress. Because I picked the dresses out so long ago, most of my bridesmaids have already bought the dress, so it is too late for me to change it.
Posted by woodsandminkin[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Basically, you call the Bridal store, ask what the last date to order the dress and then email, call, text your cousins and say. "Hey cousins, The last date to order the dress is X, if you are having trouble with money let me know and will work something out." Other than that, its out of your hands. If they don't want to fork a certain amount for a dress they will most likely never wear again then that's their choice, all you can do is offer to pay for a certain amount and let the ball be in their court. If they don't get the dress then they are taking themselves out of the WP.

</div>

KatyRoseM · November 2010

It doesn't sound like this is about money, its that they don't like the dress. I'm inclined to say that this is the one time you get to tell them what they will wear. At the same time that is expensive, so offering to help out wouldn't be out of line.

marissa_claire · November 2010

Ditto Katy. If they went to buy the dress with every intention and ended up not buying it, they probably tried it on and thought it looked terrible on them.

suz62984 · November 2010

Holy crap!!! $180 for short dresses is crazy to me. My BM dresses were $150 which is pretty typical for this area.

Your BMs told you a long time ago that the dress was fine and price was ok but things change with time. Their situations have probably changed. They have gotten out of the "OMG you're getting married" crap and now they see that paying that much for a few yards of fabric is nuts. Just find another dress in their budgets or pay for the dresses yourself; it's unreasonable on your part to make them purchase this dress when they can't or don't want too.

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

A year ago, they were thinking about a dress budget in the abstract. They didn't have to figure out where they were going to come up with the money, and the wedding was still nearly 2 years away, so they really didn't care.

Now that it is time to actually start shopping, you need to take their budgets into account. You should begin this process by speaking with each one individually and asking for a budget, and then shopping accordingly. These girls have already told you that 150 seems appropriate for a short dress, so there you go. At 7 months out, you should just now be getting on BM dress shopping, so you have plenty of time.

Don't go patting yourself on the back for not requiring them to buy matching shoes or pay for hair/make up. Those things are your responsibility if you want them anyway.

megandjay · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_cost-of-bridesmaid-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:537b1c92-63f8-4810-8d43-b85627d3c034Post:b13d7c2d-d440-452e-aa8d-94bb03257e87">Re: Cost of Bridesmaid Dresses?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Katy. If they went to buy the dress with every intention and ended up not buying it, they probably tried it on and thought it looked terrible on them.
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

DItto. Sounds like they didn't like the dress, and although you do get to choose, you want them to feel comfortable. Have you thought of inviting them to find an alternative option? What did you like about the dress, the color or fabric? If so, you could tell them to look at other J Crew dresses that come in the same color/fabric and give them a choice, or suggest they do some research and find another option in the same color/fabric.

LD1970 · November 2010

$120. And floor length.

gottahavashorti · November 2010

That sounds like a lot to me, especially once you factor in alterations. Ask them for their budgets.

My BMs spent about $100 each on knee length or hemmed to knee length dresses, and 2 out of 3 have worn them again to other weddings. While we were trying to stay on the lower end of costs for BM dresses, they cared more about how much they liked their dresses than the price. They were okay buying a BM dress, but at least one was hoping to find something that could be worn at least once more after the wedding.

SmallTownGypsy · November 2010

Wow...that does sound like quite a bit. The three girls in my party are all not in the best financial straits. So, I definitely kept that in mind when I went searching. Luckily, I stumbled across the perfect dresses (that came in any size) and were only $70ish. Hope you come to an agreement that suits you all.

banana468 · November 2010

It really sounds like they just don't like it.

Because it's J.Crew, they often have other dresses in the same fabric but in different styles. Could you offer to give them some money towards the dress and compromise?

Viczaesar · November 2010

I say you cut out buying shoes for everyone and just give them general guidelines (i.e. color) so that they can wear something they already have and that is comfortable for them. No one will care about your BMs' shoes and many women find the idea of wearing a shoe someone else picked out for them to be a nightmare. Then take the money you would have spent on each girl's shoes and give it to them to offset the cost of the dress. Your BMs said they would buy the dress if it were cheaper, so make it cheaper for them. Everybody wins, and everybody gets comfortable footwear. Happiness all around.

maibrandnew · November 2010

Well I guess I am anal and have control issues... Our wedding is a year away and I have already given a price range for the dresses for my bridal party. The dresses range from $180-300. Those in my bridal party know how I am and how I do things so this comes as no surprise to them. My MOH has already told them that there will be a flexible payment plan of $500 to be paid in full 3 months before the wedding, that way if anyone backs out, they can get their money back before the dress order goes in. You aren't being realistic, it was agreed upon, and if they can't fulfill their duties because they are trippin off of $30-50 additional dollars, then maybe they should just say they don't want to be in it.

banana468 · November 2010

Mali, I can't believe you told THEM what the cost of the dresses would be. Please understand that while you think that's you being controlling, it comes off as quite rude to those near and dear to you.

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