Question...

undyingmizery · December 2011

I know you guys will be completely honest with me..

I really want my brother to be by my side when I get married, but I am getting ridiculed and bitched out for having " a man " as a bridesmaid. Am I wrong for this? Is it weird?

How do you feel about this topic of having "uneven" sides both in numbers and in genders?

chelseamb11 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_question-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc3da6d-070c-485c-a11b-d14553b0cf27Post:2fa9c68c-0a8f-4cb6-bb3d-36f2182a0ba4">Question...</a>:
[QUOTE]I know you guys will be completely honest with me.. I really want my brother to be by my side when I get married, but I am getting ridiculed and bitched out for having " a man " as a bridesmaid. Am I wrong for this? Is it weird? How do you feel about this topic of having "uneven" sides both in numbers and in genders?
Posted by undyingmizery[/QUOTE]

Some people look down on it for some reason. I have no idea why. It's your wedding, you should do what makes you happy. Who is giving you a hard time? They're being jerks for ridiculing you and bitching you out.

SarahPLiz · December 2011

Just do it. Eff what other people think.

I had my 2 sisters next to me and DH only had his BFF, who happens to be female. No one said a word.

Girlie1030 · December 2011

It's not weird at all. People really need to get over this idea of even and gender specific sides.

undyingmizery · December 2011

anyone that asks me what I am planning on doing for my wedding party and such say something about it. I simply say what the girls might wear but don't know what to put my brother in.. holy jebus there it goes lol. My Dad and my FI both are thinking it's weird.. I don't see it. I love my brother and it would mean a lot to me to have him there by my side.

Girlie1030 · December 2011

He can just wear what the groomsmen are wearing right?

Cupcakes4life · December 2011

No you aren't weird, you are fine. You should have whoever you want in your bridal party. The people you choose are the people that you know love and support you. They are there to show their support of your union.

But, you might not want to call him a bridesmaid, as maid implies female. When I was first engaged I wanted a male friend on my side. I planned to call him an "honor attendent." Said friend and I have since grown apart, so I'm glad I didn't jump the gun and ask him right away.

Another title could be man of honor.

undyingmizery · December 2011

he would take the place of me "maid of honor"

undyingmizery · December 2011

only difference is I may put him in a different color of shirt..woo lol

SarahPLiz · December 2011

Yep, DH just got asked to be Man of Honor in his BFF's wedding. I hope he doesn't ahve to throw her a b-party. She's too expensive

undyingmizery · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_question-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc3da6d-070c-485c-a11b-d14553b0cf27Post:1e752276-532d-4670-82b0-3fc1856b2c2b">Re: Question...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yep, DH just got asked to be Man of Honor in his BFF's wedding. I hope he doesn't ahve to throw her a b-party. She's too expensive
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

Ya I am a maid of honor for my friends wedding.. and Wow.. the list of things she "wants"... *grumble*

Steph0871 · December 2011

Complete honesty? Until TK, I'd never seen it. The first time I heard someone doing on here I went "huh?" just because I'd never seen it before, though. I never judged.

Honestly, if one of my friends were to do it, I'd never judge it or anything. I certainly woudln't say anything to them.

Just do whatever you want. People will second guess you, just because ti's not the 'norm'. But, really? Nothing's the 'norm' anymore with weddings.

betrothed123 · December 2011

People can be ridiculous. You're not doing anything wrong at all. Go for it.

kdevlin9 · December 2011

FI thinks my bridal party is ridiculous, but it's who I want next to me. I never thought we would do the whole uneven thing, but we are. He has 5 guys and I'm sticking with my 7 girls, and I know it will still look great. It's not just an aesthetic thing, it just means a lot to have those people as my bridesmaids. But, I think your brother up there is an awesome idea. GL!

number55 · December 2011

The point of a wedding party (as we use them currently in wedding tradition) is to have your closest friends bear witness to your nuptials. If it happens that the person(s) you select is not of the same gender as you - who gives a *uck? I had my best male friend in my WP and DH had a best woman. There were some jokes at times, meant only as jokes, but we didn't care either way. We did what felt right to us. There was no way my best guy friend wasn't going to be standing up with me, he was too important to let 'his bits' get in the way.

ps: all the women wore the same thing, all the guys wore the same thing. They just stood on different sides.

ccdaisy · December 2011

The Knot is being wonky..I don't post often- but do what you want, with who you want. Your guest will forget the day pretty fast, you wil not..do what you and your Fi want to do..to hell with the rest.

amyb140 · December 2011

My H had his 4 guy friends. I had my sister, my girl BFF, my guy BFF, and my 2 young nieces (8 and 10).

So really, screw what anyone else thinks! No one thought what I did was weird. Same guy bff was just the Man of Honor in another friend's wedding.

And I just went completely crazy and told my girls to wear whatever they wanted. I mean, whatever - I didn't choose the color or anything, because frankly I didn't care. They're grown-ups and can dress themselves. And guess what - they did! And everyone looked great! H wanted his guys in black suits so that's what they wore.

ski2play · December 2011

Do it! I am having my daughter as my MOH and my son as my "Dude of Honor".....who cares what people think, they are my nearest and dearest!

jlegga1 · December 2011

I say go for it. Anyone who has a problem needs to get over it. What I always hate is when people try to stick their close guy friends in the groomsmen just so it won't "look wierd" having a guy stand on the brides' side. my aunt had one of her close guy friends in her wedding back in 2001 before it was cool and she was in his wedding as well. I thought it was cool

undyingmizery · December 2011

I have to get ready for class. I will check back later

Thank you guys!

bltata · December 2011

I'm totally planning on what you are. Our wedding parties will probably be my best male and female friends on my side as a maid and man of honor, and K will have his sister and best friend on his. All we are asking is for a black dress that isn't floor length or hoochie short or a black suit/military dress uniform (if they are military).

We will both have a guy and a girl on each side. We don't care.

Blueyed228 · December 2011

Being honest? I think its weird. That being said, its not my wedding and my opinion doesn't matter. I think its strange but I would probably, as a guest, just think "well that's different" and not think about it again. Basically its just not that big of a deal to me and I wouldn't really care either way. Do what you want.

musicalsunlight · December 2011

Even before coming to TK after I was engaged, I knew I was going to have a guy on my side of the WP. My absolute best friend in the whole world is a guy, and there was never any doubt in my mind that some day he would be my "Man of Honor". If anyone at the wedding side eyes it, I really don't care. I'm sorry people are giving you a hard time about wanting your brother in the wedding on your side. As far as what he is wearing-- can't he wear a tux that matches the GM? My MOH Dan is wearing the same tux as the GM but just has a different tie to distinguish himself.

blgrout · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_question-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:5fc3da6d-070c-485c-a11b-d14553b0cf27Post:511dd250-9294-4ecb-9d48-0f5c1d5ee931">Re: Question...</a>:
[QUOTE]Do it! I am having my daughter as my MOH and my son as my "Dude of Honor".....who cares what people think, they are my nearest and dearest!
Posted by ski2play[/QUOTE]

I love, love, LOVE this!

To the OP, I agree with popular opinion. It's your wedding, put who you want in it, not who everyone else wants. :)

tidetravel · December 2011

We had a bridesman and a groomswoman. If anyone thought it was wierd, no one was rude enough to say so to my face. To avoid labels, we just listed everyone in the program as "Bride's Attendants" and "Groom's Attendants."

azdancer8 · December 2011

We had a groomswoman (we called her our honor attendant). Our sides happened to be 3 and 3 simply by chance. If we had more people to add, I wouldn't have cared if the sides were even or not.

I also agree with PPs. It's your day - put your nearest and dearest wherever you want them.

sarabear23 · December 2011

I had a bridesman on my side. He even wore a pink t shirt with bridesman written on it (in crystals) at our rehearsal dinner.

It's not weird at all. Do whatever you and your FI want.

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