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Program question #12 - guidance for non-Catholics

lmeade62lmeade62
100 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
I'm trying to think of something to put into the program - if it's even necessary - to let our friends who aren't Catholic (which is going to be most of them) know about the sitting, standing, kneeling, etc. But I'm not completely clear on the protocol. I assume we want them to stand when guided to do so, but I also figured they don't necessarily have to kneel if they're not comfortable with that. Is that correct? If they don't want to kneel, can they simply sit?

I'm not even touching the Communion issue. I'll let our priest take care of that.

Thanks in advance!

Linda
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Re: Program question #12 - guidance for non-Catholics

  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You can put the appropriate cues at each moment in the mass on the program.  You're just letting them know the appropriate gesture, but anyone who isn't Catholic or may have some kind of physical problem is free to remain sitting if they need/want to.




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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Episcopalians don't kneel so you can write them off as an obvious
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  • kate5283katekate5283kate
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'd just let the non Catholics follow the Catholics, trusting that the priest will cue the congregation if necessary. Otherwise, people will have hteir heads down in teh program, worrying if they are doing the right thing at the right time.
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  • lmeade62lmeade62
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay, that's all good advice. We don't have to worry about it too much right now - we're doing our own programs and we're still three months away, but I was playing with the programs tonight and wasn't sure.

    Besides, I haven't talked to you guys for a while and missed you!

    Linda
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I really struggled with the decision of whether or not to put cues for sitting/standing/kneeling in the program. In the end, I decided to omit anything that happens quickly. I don't want people's noses in the programs the whole mass -- I would rather have them experience it. I figured that by the time they find if they should sit/stand/kneel or say something quickly, they would be even more behind.

    I did however include a note about participating as much as people feel comfortable with. I want my non-Catholic guests to experience the mass and God's presence as much as possible; perhaps even help turn their hearts. I don't, however, want people to feel pressured or uncomfortable, especially since I do have a good bit of religious diversity among my guests.
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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    "I'd just let the non Catholics follow the Catholics, trusting that the priest will cue the congregation if necessary. Otherwise, people will have hteir heads down in teh program, worrying if they are doing the right thing at the right time."

    I guess it depends upon how many Catholics you have.  We'll have like 8 if you include me and FI, so we won't be able to cue the 80 non-catholics.  The priest can do it, but I wouldn't want him worrying about making hand gestures the whole time.  

    I don't think that guests necessarily will have to have their nose in the program the whole time just to read "sit down" or "stand".  And they'll also be reading the program for hymn numbers, responsorials, etc.

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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Before I was Catholic, I appreciated the cues in the missal about when to kneel/stand/sit.  It wasn't always easy to tell just by watching others (it's amazing how many Catholics don't know these cues at mass).

    I guess it just depends upon the person.

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  • lmeade62lmeade62
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm taking polls from some of my guests, so far they're split 50-50...
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I included the cues, but didn't go into any more detail than that. Most of our guests just followed our lead on the altar, anyway. And those that couldn't physically kneel (or didn't want to, I guess), just sat, without needing to be prompted. I think most people will just go with the flow.

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  • MuddyInsigniaMuddyInsignia member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm Episcopalian and my fiance is Catholic--we both do a lot of kneeling, sitting and standing throughout the mass--and since it will be a co-officiated service, we decided to just let the two priests help guide the guests on what to do (too complicated to try to explain all of it).

    I have been to weddings officiated by both priests before, and they are very good at explaining/guiding. Anyway, when I go to a more unfamiliar mass (in a non-English speaking country or an old Latin mass in the States) I simply follow the rest of the people--I presume non Catholic guests would do the same.
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  • HandBananaHandBanana member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our priest told us that he would give cues during the mass.  He would use his arms and even say "Please stand."  Just talk to your priest.

    Our guests are pretty much all Catholic and you would be surprised by with the energy, excitemen, and emotions people can get completely distracted.
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  • clearheavensclearheavens member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We put the cues for kneeling and standing because we felt their noses would be in the programs anyway so glancing those words "kneel" or "stand" wasn't going to take much more time.
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  • NatalieTuricikToBeNatalieTuricikToBe
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our church has cards tucked into the shelves that hold prayerbooks, which explain general ettiquette, standing kneeling, and even rules for taking communion. You could print cards and just set them in the pews for all your guests
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