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when is it too late to invite an out of town guest?

RachaelKittieRachaelKittie
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

In keeping our budget in mind there were some people we kept off our list who we would have loved to invite. Now that we're starting to get some "nos" we know we're able to, but the trouble is that they live many states away and out wedding is in about 6 weeks. Is it too late?

I'd also need to contact them to get their addresses. In that email I might say something to the effect of, I'm sorry about the late notice and I know it's far to travel, but we wanted to include them. I might also mention something about us being disorganized, though I'm worried it might still be obvious that they were on a "B" list.

Thoughts???

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Re: when is it too late to invite an out of town guest?

  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    1000 Comments
    Yes, it's too late. It's rude to have a B list in the first place, and by requesting their addresses so late, it's obvious that they are second tier.
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    If you have to ask for an address & the wedding is 6 weeks away now, I think it is too late. What is your RSVP date?

    Planning Bio
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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
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  • Bethanne1202Bethanne1202
    10 Comments
    It will probably be obvious and they probably wont make them feel good
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If the invites have already went out, then it is too late. Period.

    If I knew I was invited only as a B-lister, I would decline the invite. That just looks gift grabby or like you are trying to fulfill a minimum for your venue or something.
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  • lthom17lthom17
    100 Comments
    6 weeks away is too late in most cases.  However, I think it could work if you just became good friends with someone (doesn't sound like your case).
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  • RachaelKittieRachaelKittie
    First Comment
    Thanks guys! 

    I'm wondering though if it's better to be invited with a note of apology about the delay than to not be invited at all?  There was one wedding that I was surprised not to be invited to (we went to high school together and always see each other when we're both in town) and I would have appreciated a note or a late invitation to none at all (even though I lived out of state and couldn't come). 

      
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  • emilycherneemilycherne
    Need help in how to respond to invitation...

    A friend's daughter is getting married in a few weeks and we were obviously a "b" listed because an invitation showed up today - the day guests were due to respond by.  She and my daughter went to school together K - 12 and as families we were always together during the major holidays, school sports, extra curricular etc - we live in a small town.  We invited the family to my daughter's wedding - we even included a guest for her to bring so she didn't have to come on her own.

    It would be one thing if money was an issue - but it is not - the family is very wealthy.

    I am really hurt because we were the only ones of our 'group' to be excluded.  Now just  3 weeks before the wedding an invitation arrives.  As hurt as I am - I am inclined to say no.  If we decline - am I obligated to buy a gift?





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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @emilycherne, you need to start a new thread if you have a question. Please don't resurrect a two year old thread to hijack it for a different question.

    If you are hurt enough to not want to attend, then decline.  They are being rude by inviting you so late. You don't have to send a gift either way.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2013
    RebeccaB88 said:
    @emilycherne, you need to start a new thread if you have a question. Please don't resurrect a two year old thread to hijack it for a different question.

    If you are hurt enough to not want to attend, then decline.  They are being rude by inviting you so late. You don't have to send a gift either way.
    I was just about to say the same thing. ;-)

    emilycherne, welcome to the boards!
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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You may decline, that's your right.  You do not have to buy a gift.  There is no reason for you to feel pressured to send a gift to a wedding you were b listed for.  (Any chance the invite got stuck in the mail somewhere?  That's happened to me before.) 

    Also, it's usual for a person to start a new thread rather than post on one that's over 2 years old...
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