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Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Party-do I have a say so?

Hi!  So my sister (MOH) and bridesmaids are planning the bachelorette party.  I wanted to go out downtown Pgh then to a crazy club for dancing.  My sister (MOH) does not want to go to this club.  I've heard so many mixed stories: Does or doesn't the bride have a say so in where she goes for her bachelorette party.  My fiance' wanted to go to Vegas for his bachelor party, but can't because good reasons from 2 of his groomsmen.  I told him he should be able to do what he wants for his bachelor party.  Another friend of ours is planning her friend's bachelorette party. I asked her what she was doing (her not knowing my thoughts on the subject).  She said, "It's whatever the bride wants to do".  I asked another friend of mine and she said, "My MOH can do anything she wants".  It's starting to cause problems with us.  HELP!

Re: Bachelorette Party-do I have a say so?

  • Nope. You don't get to plan your own party.
  • Well my friends that are planning mine are making sure I get a say.  they are planning most of it, but if I really have an opinion on something, they are making sure I get a say.  It's my party afterall, and they want to make sure I have fun.  

    If it really means a lot to you that you get a say, talk to your MOH about it.  I really don't care where we go for mine, so I am leaving it all up to my friends, but if I cared, then I would make sure I had a say.

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  • I know technically it's all up to the MOH... however, I am completely getting a say. She asked me outright what I want to do because she wants to make sure I have a good time. Personally, I would be upset if I got no say and we did something that I did not want. That's just me, I know others think differently on the subject though.
  • I am currently planning my BF's B party and I did ask her if there was anything that she did or did not want to do.  The only she wanted to do was go out dancing....and she will.  I have planned an entire weekend getaway starting with a day of shopping and a cafe lunch on Sat, then dancing Sat night and relaxing on the beach Sunday.

    You're sister should suck it up and go with the flow of things, IMHO.  I know I would do that for my sister without thinking twice.

     

  • Ditto Retread. 

    The bachelorette party is a gift.  It's one thing for them to respect what you wish when it comes to not embarassing you and/or putting you in a situation that might make you uncomfortable.

    However you don't get to tell people how to spend their money and to spend MORE money than they want. 

    Besides, what fun is a party if you know some of the guests don't want to be attending it?
  • If they are planning it then no.  The only time I feel like you would have a say is if it got outrageously expensive or if they wanted a stripper(or something else you didn't want/feel comfortable with) and you didn't feel comfortable or didn't want one.  If they ask you what you want, then fine.  But otherwise, just be happy they're throwing you a party.
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  • Hmm...yea that's tough. Like PPs said you can always decline if it's something you aren't comfortable with. Did your sister say why she doesn't want to go to that specific club?

    Any bachelorette I've been to, the bride has always had SOME say, even if it was a surprise. We're going to Vegas in May for one, and although the bride knows we're going there, the MOH and I have scheduled the entire weekend full of stuff. But we asked her if there were any specific restaurants/clubs she wants to go to, and made sure to incorporate her "must haves".
  • I am my best friend's MOH and I asked her what she would like to do for her Bachelorette Party.  She immediately said VEGAS!  I then asked if there was anything she was totally opposed to, or anything in particular she wanted to do.  She said she trusts me and whatever I decide.  We have been friends since we were 5 years old, so I do know what she likes and doesn't like, so I'm going to make sure I make it all about her.  

  • I just had my bachelorette party last night and my MOH & bridesmaids planned it but they asked me where I wanted to go so i pretty much picked the restaurants & bars.  They planned other surprises for me such as a lingerie shower before we left, the limo, the stuff they had me wear (a veil, a tiara,and a sash), and some little dares I had to do.

    I had such a good time and the dares they had me do were pretty tasteful, nothing that was disrespectful or anything.

    It is your night so hopefully they will give you some input.
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