CAB

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

hey there!

I saw your post in the Thursday post and wanted to ask you about it. You're moving in with FIs mom? You might have brought this up before so if you did, I'm sorry. I just noticed it this morning.

Tell me more about this.

SamiJoeB · September 2011

Me too!! I was like whhhaaaatt?

calindi · September 2011

Also very curious. And wanting to lend a supportive virtual shoulder! Sounds like you're not so happy about the idea.

firsttimersluck · September 2011

basically we

you and need to know your life details. :] give it up lady!

CAB1217 · September 2011

Why good morning ladies! Ok, here's the details:
Like I'm sure I mentioned before, FI is going to dental school, and TRYING to get a scholarship through the Army. Shiit fell through for the first year in regards to said scholarship, and his recruiter told him it would be more like 3 1/2 year scholarship instead of a 4 yr, which meant we had to live with his momma for 6 months. OK, so I love her and all, but she doesn't believe in privacy, so theres that. I gave into the idea because thats what good fiancees are supposed to do, blah blah. So, now with the news of the scholarship being for 3 years, we are now stuck there a year. Yesterday, I was upset at the fact that now that FI is putting his foot down with his mom about our privacy, she tries to push little things. Like keeping a shelf of her stuff in my soon to be closet, in our soon to be "living room", for me to have my privacy when FI is studying... idk, it's just really really annoying guys

. I could have sworn I posted about this here, but here is the longer version on this topic:
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_moving-fis-mom

Thanks for wanting to hear about this guys. I love you all too !

calindi · September 2011

That's all a big bummer, but I'm glad to hear your FI is putting his foot down with her now to establish some boundaries. So you have a full year? You and I can countdown together until we can get out of unhappy living situations (I hate Miami, you hate living with your FMIL)!

LetsHikeToday · September 2011

I give you props. I would never, in a million years, be able to live with my in laws. They are nice, they like me, they want what is best for us but there would NEVER be any privacy.

Have you moved in yet? If not, can you come to a privacy agreement?

CAB1217 · September 2011

Hike, I have somewhat moved in you can say; I am there about 5 days a week. I do my part in the home, I clean, cook, you know, wifey things. It's been ok so far, except for yesterday with the whole shelf issue. It really annoys me that she wants to take the space that she has offered me, but what can I say? It's not MY house, it's hers. My sister thinks that I'm being silly cause they have such a big house, her space is way on the other side of ours, and my sister also lives with her mother in law. But, my FMIL has her computer right outside our door... so at any given time she could hear us gettin' busy. LOL! I told FI she should move her computer to give us space and privacy, and he's working on that. He's is really making the effort to make my life comfortable there, which is why I willingly do this, against my better judgement I guess.

Calindi, we need a ticker! HA HA!

calindi · September 2011

I'm at 43 weeks today. No joke, I am keeping count of weeks. It's less depressing than days.

SamiJoeB · September 2011

Ahh!! I lived with my IL's! I lasted for 3 1/2 months. C can tell you, I was so down.. all the time. I slept alot, I was depressed. I gained a million lbs.. (not quite a million, but it sure feels like a million while I'm trying to get it off!!) Plus, they fought all the time, so then H and I fought all the time. I was a nervous wreck like 24/7. When I originally moved in, it was just supposed to be until I could go to Japan to be with H. Then we found out he'd have to extend for the rest of his enlistment (2 more years) and we were both like..ehh No. The worst part is that I had a great relationship with my IL's when I moved in, and now... we don't speak. I'm the first one to admit that I handled things badly when all the major drama when down with MIL, but she's never apologized and I resent her for that.

Since you have to move in (Really no other options?), maybe you and your FI could sit down with FMIL and set some ground rules? Talk to her about your privacy concerns, maybe she has some concerns of her own?

On the bright side.. You always have us when you need to vent!

divinemsbee · September 2011

You are a much much stronger woman than I. I cannot imagine being able to do that with my FMIL, of course, at least yours talks to you

At least your FI is with you through this and is starting to put his foot down. Good Luck!

CAB1217 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:540674f5-8fb0-47ae-b2c0-17678267041cPost:9e8de9d0-cd8b-41f3-b78f-1089e42adeda">Re: **CAB**</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahh!! I lived with my IL's! I lasted for 3 1/2 months. C can tell you, I was so down.. all the time. I slept alot, I was depressed. I gained a million lbs.. (not quite a million, but it sure feels like a million while I'm trying to get it off!!) Plus, they fought all the time, so then H and I fought all the time. I was a nervous wreck like 24/7. When I originally moved in, it was just supposed to be until I could go to Japan to be with H. Then we found out he'd have to extend for the rest of his enlistment (2 more years) and we were both like..ehh No. The worst part is that I had a great relationship with my IL's when I moved in, and now... we don't speak. I'm the first one to admit that I handled things badly when all the major drama when down with MIL, but she's never apologized and I resent her for that. Since you have to move in <strong>(Really no other options?),</strong> maybe you and your FI could sit down with FMIL and set some ground rules? Talk to her about your privacy concerns, maybe she has some concerns of her own? <strong> On the bright side.. You always have us when you need to vent!
</strong>Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
Bold part #1- Really, no other options. Well, in Fi's mind, anyway. I think we can hack it with my income, with student housing and all that, but FI doesn't want the added stress in his first months of intense schooling.

Second bolded part- Seriously, I am sooooo glad I am a part of this. I really feel like I can only come here to vent, cause everyone else thinks it's no biggie. Of course, I know they're only saying that cause they want me to feel like it's going to be ok, and I know it will be ok, but I need people to be real with me, ya know? Yeah, you all know... :)

On a happier note, WE'RE GETTING OUR MARRIAGE LICENSE TODAY! I feel like I'm getting married today lol! Did anyone else feel like that?

SamiJoeB · September 2011

haha.. H was soo confused when we got ours.. I literally picked him up from the airport and we drove straight there.. He didn't know what day it was, or what time it was, or anything.. He had to do his part of the paperwork like 4 times.. It was cute.

calindi · September 2011

CAB, if it's unbearable, he'll probably be more flexible after his first semester is done. You could try a sublease in January or something. I remember FI was a stressball the whole first semester of law school, and has gotten considerably more low-key since then.

CAB1217 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:540674f5-8fb0-47ae-b2c0-17678267041cPost:a62fa16c-a496-4c9e-ab39-45909ccac2b0">Re: **CAB**</a>:
[QUOTE]You are a much much stronger woman than I. I cannot imagine being able to do that with my FMIL, of course, at least yours talks to you :) At least your FI is with you through this and is starting to put his foot down. Good Luck!
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

Ha ha, thank you. I really do like her, and I feel for her, since she lost her husband pretty recently (2 1/2 yrs ago), so I need to try and make the best out of this, to make sure our relationship doesn't go to shiit because of this. Which means, me having to keep feelings to myself, A LOT.

CAB1217 · September 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_cab?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:540674f5-8fb0-47ae-b2c0-17678267041cPost:b0a64257-74e6-4e48-9197-dd069f8f1fcd">Re: **CAB**</a>:
[QUOTE]haha.. H was soo confused when we got ours.. I literally picked him up from the airport and we drove straight there.. He didn't know what day it was, or what time it was, or anything.. He had to do his part of the paperwork like 4 times.. It was cute.
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

I did it all online for us... to avoid the confusion. Luckily I knew all the details! Today is LITERALLY the only day we can do it due to his school schedule. His last day of school before the wedding is the day before the wedding! And I almost forgot that today was his only break from school til then! WOOPS! I was like, "boss, if you want to be at my wedding, let me go get my marriage license." Ha ha!

CAB

Re: CAB

Choose Another Board

Search Boards