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New Hampshire

Honeymoon Registry?!?!

Just wanted your thoughts and opinons on having our registry be for our honeymoon.. Has anyone done this? What are your thoughts if you were a guest?

FI and I already have a house together and do not need kitchen and bath items! Plus, I don't even enjoy cooking LOL. In addition, I don't like clutter. I just don't see the point in getting stuff that I will never use and don't really want. I understand its not about the gifts but that's the norm for Bridal Showers. I also can't stand when people spend money on things that will never get used. I don't want people to waste their money on things I know I don't need or want.

MIL is telling both my SIL (who's getting married 3 mos after us) and I to just do a regular registry because she feels there will be alot of complaining about it.

Just wanted your thoughts and opinons.

Re: Honeymoon Registry?!?!

  • edited December 2011
    Most people on TK do not look highly on doing a honeymoon registry. The main reason being it isn't polite to ask for money (since those sites are just a way to collect money, they don't actually purchase any of the items). Also, most of the sites take a percentage of the money that you collect so people aren't actually giving you as much as they think. Finally, the point of the bridal shower is to shower you with gifts so if you don't want presents etiquette states you should decline a bridal shower. 

    The recommendation that I've read is to create a small registry so people who do want to give you a tangible gift can, and you can always find something that you could use/upgrade. Then also decline a bridal shower. And just collect money on your own and use it for it.

    Good luck and congrats =)
  • DrPB2b13DrPB2b13 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There are different types of honeymoon registries that influence how I feel about them.

    Some registries are generic, meaning they'll take peoples' money, take their cut, and send you a check.  People think they're paying $120 for you to get a massage, but really you're just receiving $95 to spend however you want.  Personally, I feel this is tacky because a) your guests are getting ripped off by a third party, and b) there are better ways to ask for money straight up (e.g. asking your family members to spread it through word of mouth).

    However, some hotels will do their own registries altogether.  This requires you to have already booked your honeymoon, meaning you're definitely going to be spending the money.  Your guests can then gift a meal, massage, bottle of champagne, etc. which gets credited to your room, and at the end of the trip these things are then simply not charged to you.  I feel this is more acceptable, because it is money you would already be spending, and thus you're not relying on your friends and family to fund your honeymoon, meaning that IF they choose to participate, it truly is a gift.

    However, ultimately I feel your guests should have choices, and if that means creating an actual gift registry for them to purchase from, that's what should be done.  My FI and I don't need a whole lot either, but my plan is to ask for upgrades to our current appliances and donate the working ones we have to charity.
    Mrs. Abbe Peanut Butter || Planning Bio
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  • edited December 2011
    I went to a wedding (last week actually) of a friend of ours and she had a regular Macys registry and a Honeymoon registry for their Sandals honeymoon which was already booked (cant remember if it was through Sandals or not..). A lot of people one TK think it's "bad etiquette" but I think it's a great idea. And honestly, it depends on your crowd. Money is money and they're spending it on you either way so I say if you dont need much, have a small registry for some stuff you'd like to have and a honeymoon one. A lot of younger people (that I know) like the idea because they dont see the difference in buying you a material household thing or something fun for your honeymoon (and it's super easy to do). Older people do like old fashioned registries probably because they're not used to honeymoon ones, but you never know if they'll like it better or not so might as well give them the option. Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm not a fan of honeymoon registries.  They just kinda rub me the wrong way.

    My FMIL is getting married in the fall and even though she still has everything she needs, she made up a registry with a few items that are a little better/nicer than what she has.  The shower invite also said that the couple would like gift cards, so gift cards are what they mainly got at their shower.

    What I'd suggest doing is having a small registry.  Make sure whoever is throwing your shower to include on the invite and via word of mouth that gifts towards your honeymoon are greatly appreciated.  That way someone has the option to get you a gift vs. cash, and if they see that there are no more registry items left that it will kind of be a hint to give you cash instead.
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  • edited December 2011
    I dont see the difference in asking for gift cards (aka like the same as cash) on a shower invite, as opposed to a honeymoon registry... That's like the same thing in my opinion. I dont see how anyone would be offended by seeing a honeymoon registry along with a regular small registry, but not a small registry that also included that they would like gift cards. Just my opinion though. I think a lot of the technicalities of wedding etiquette are a little strange though.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry?!?!:
    [QUOTE]I'm not a fan of honeymoon registries.  They just kinda rub me the wrong way.
    Posted by Biotechick620[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.
    Can you do a small registry with some upgrades on items you already have? We were living in an apartment, but we registered for upgrades on our towels, dishes, etc. If you do an Amazon registry, you can pull items from lots of different places. A lot of people won't side-eye a hobby-related item (a new tent, perhaps?) as much as they would a honeymoon registry. If you do a small registry, people will get the hint and give you cash or gift cards.
  • mariegramariegra member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's better if you do a gift registry versus a HM registry, because most guests won't want to contribute to the HM registry.  Some may just give you cash---and really, that's better because then there's no surcharge. 

    I understand wanting a HM registry--but most people just won't get on board with it, so just register for some extras or some upgrades, (or hobby stuff like mentioned in previous post).
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm also doing a HM registry.  What about having a Jack and Jill to get some money together for your honeymoon?
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