this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Second Weddings
Second Weddings
New Discussion

Second Wedding Ogida

mmh1769mmh1769
in Second Weddings
I am getting married for the second time. For some reason, I have guilt and apprehension asking people to participate in this wedding. I feel like I don't deserve this and I really wish that I didn't feel this way. My first wedding was nice, but it wasn't about me, in fact I was having some major doubts about even going thru with it. My parents divorced when I was young and I guess I just felt that it was easier to just be like them and get divorced too than to cancel this that wedding..which is totally nuts I know. Now, I am with an amazing guy who is more than i could have ever asked for and I am beating myself up bc I feel like I don't deserve all the things that go along with being a bride. All my friends tell me to shut up, but i just can't help it. How do I fix this!? I mean I am super excited to get married and have it mean something this time, its a totally different feeling than what I had before. I just wish I could shake this guilty feeling.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Second Wedding Ogida

  • debi1941debi1941 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First of all, please do not feel guilty!

    You met a wonderful man, and you are very deserving of him, and thats why he fell in love with you!

    Are you planning on a ceremony/reception ? Destination? something large? something small?

    It is funny, I also felt strange about asking friends to help....or even participate.....not because I felt guilty tho,  I felt akward , thats  a better  description of my feelings. 

    But as the date grows closer and they keep offering, I have finally accepted on a few occasions.....and I must add, we had a blast!

    We had a "put together" the invitation friday night with apps and wine and lots of laughs and funny stories.......

    We had a night or two of me doing DIY projects and them keeping me company (they r not very DIY) and all of us haveing a wonderful time......

    I have chosen not to have any of my friends participate in the ceremony because there was no way I could choose one over another and there was no way I was going to have a wedding party of 8 bridsmaids plus a MOH at 48 yrs old......just my feelings of course!

    Your friends love you and of course want to do anything they can to help.......it is so much fun planning and doing for a wedding......

    Let them help, you wil have fun, you will make wonderful memories and leave the guilt at the front door when you wipe your shoes.....There is no room for guilt in the making of your new marriage!

    Here is to Guit free planning.......I wish you te best!

    Report Reply
  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You found someone to be happy with...that is something to celebrate!

    It is a little scary stepping into the wedding trenches again, I know, especially with all the starry eyed 1st timers out there.  Just remember this is yours and FIs day.

    Sit down and figure out what YOU want and dont want for your wedding day.  That will be a good start.  I have changed my mind about things a dozen times at least!

    As to "deserving" all the things that come with being a bride, yes you do deserve them.  I would enjoy it and bask in all the fun that comes along with it.

    As you start the planning and things come together you will feel better about it all.

    Good Luck!
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    As always Retread shares words of wisdom.

    No one enters into a commitment thinking they will get divorced. 

    My FI reminds me that this is our FIRST marriage to each other and that we should celebrate it!!
    Report Reply
  • thealphabridethealphabride
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The feeling of "not deserving" everything surrounding being a bride entails is normal. I think lots of us have had this feeling.
    This is your new mantra: I deserve it, I deserve happiness, I deserve my happy ending. When negative thoughts creep in, please replace them with these thoughts.

    You need to undo the negative thought tapes, repeat in your mind these GOOD thoughts over and over.

    Best of luck to you!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards