this is the code for the render ad
Community› Local Wedding Boards› Connecticut
Connecticut
New Discussion

My shopping entourage - Help?!

PeachesKFGPeachesKFG
100 Comments
in Connecticut
This weekend I scheduled 2 appointments to shop for gowns. I haven't tried anything on yet, so I am excited AND nervous. Because of the nervous part, I want to keep it low-key.

I am bringing my mother and 2 sisters (maids of honor). I am debating inviting my FMIL, but part of me doesn't want to invite her on my first trip to a bridal salon.  Don't get me wrong....FMIL and I get along very well, I love her to pieces and I really value her opinion, but I'd rather start with just my mom/sisters and invite FMIL to future appointments (maybe when I go back for my first fitting).

Is it rude to exclude her from the first few shopping trips? I don't want her to feel left out of the loop. Thoughts???Thanks ladies :)
Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
Report Reply to Post

Re: My shopping entourage - Help?!

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's rude.  If she gets upset just say, "I really wanted to keep this ONE thing to my mom and sisters but let's plan to do ___ together."

    Especially if you've never been before, I don't think it's smart to go with a lot of people.  You're seeing what you look like in these gowns for the first time, you'll be down to your underwear a lot of the time and you'll already have 3 other opinions to hear aside from your own.

    FWIW, I picked my dress on dress shopping day one and only went with my mom.  I would have included MIL on a future trip but that didn't happen and I can't feel guilty about MIL missing out on that detail.
    Report Reply
  • Vanessa630Vanessa630 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I definitely wouldn't feel bad at all and I think inviting her to see your dress at a first fitting is a nice compromise.  FMIL is in Boston and I had all my salon visits scheduled for CT.  I went back and forth with this but ultimately kept my appts with just me, my mom, and my aunt.  I went once with my bridesmaids only but knew I couldn't buy anything without my mom. 
    wedding countdown Visit Connecticut.Weddings.com image
    Report Reply
  • markandlaura112markandlaura112
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I feel the same way.  I am setting up appointments for next month and don't want my entourage list to get too big either.  I have my mom, my sister (MOH), my grandmother and my FMIL.

    You shouldn't feel bad about not inviting your FMIL.  She will understand that this is something you want to do with your mother.  And having her see the dress at your first fitting should definitely make her happy.  

    Good luck!
    imageMoo Moo Kitten is resting... Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • PeachesKFGPeachesKFG
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your advice ladies! I love FMIL so I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm thinking that she will understand. Her oldest son is already married, so she is familiar with being the mother of the groom, so I think that works to my advantage when I'm explaining my shopping plan to her ...she's already been through it! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
    Report Reply
  • Carebear62584Carebear62584 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    First time I went I went with my mom, aunt, and cousin (MOH) a few months ago.  At Mariella's you can only have 3 other people so if you are going there, keep that in mind.  I'm pretty sure I found the dress but didn't put a deposit on it.  I also went dress shopping in NYC a few weeks ago with one of my friends who is getting married (we really went for her, but she told me to try on some too).  I knew I couldn't buy any without my mom, and truely nothing compared to the one at Mariella's.  I plan on going back to Mariella's very soon to make sure it's the dress I want and to buy the dress because at the end of the month will be the year mark. 

    As for FMIL, I love mine to pieces too, and I probably see her more than my own mom because FI is an only son so they spoil him (and us) rotton.  I saw her the day after I found the dress and showed her pictures online so I will probably have her come to the first fitting.  She knows I am very close with my mom so she wasn't upset at all.  I'm also inviting her over to get her hair/makeup done the morning of the wedding so that she can be included in some of the girly things because she doesn't have any other kids in which she can partake in these kinds of things. I think your FMIL will understand that dress decisions are a mother/daughter thing.
    Report Reply
  • PeachesKFGPeachesKFG
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    CareBear - I'm going to Mariella's next week! My sister got her dress there 10 years ago :) I have seen some great stuff on their website so I'm very excited about Mariella's. On the phone, they did tell me that I can only have 3 people - I think that's a good rule!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
    Report Reply
  • Carebear62584Carebear62584 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My cousin (MOH) got her dress there along with some of my other friends and they've had great experiences. I had Sonya I believe her name is, as a consultant and she was marvelous (Short blond hair, very toned body).  I've gotten bridesmaids dresses there for myself too.  I also went to FairyTales on a random Sunday without an appointment to look at bridesmaids dresses and they were very unorganized and never checked back with us when other people started arriving. 
    Report Reply
  • blipsettprblipsettpr member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I went with my mom to the first few places including Mariellas. I invited my mother in law for our trip to Kleinfelds where I found my dress. Definitely worth a trip to NYC.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • whitneyf1whitneyf1
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it is rude at all. I think it is something special shared between you, your mom and sisters. I ended up inviting FMIL because she said something to my FI like "This will probably be the last time I get to go dress shopping" since her two daughters are older and married. She ended up not coming because it was too far away, haha. I was glad I kept it to just my mom and my sister though! You don't want too many opinions!
    image
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_shopping-entourage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e4b4de97-67b9-44f5-94d4-281b8bee5449Post:9610afb1-8afd-477d-9f27-c7f9cf4347a1">Re: My shopping entourage - Help?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]CareBear - I'm going to Mariella's next week! My sister got her dress there 10 years ago :) I have seen some great stuff on their website so I'm very excited about Mariella's. On the phone, they did tell me that I can only have 3 people - I think that's a good rule!
    Posted by kfesta[/QUOTE]
    Ahhhhh my appointment at Mariella's is in two weeks and they didn't say anything about only bringing 3 people!  I was planning to bring 5- my aunt, 2 sisters (both MOH's) and grooms parents bc I didn't want them to feel left out.  My mom passed away so I invited my aunt (mom's sister) who has been the closest thing to a mom me.  I'd probably nix FI's parents to the appointment but I already told them that they could come and they're so excited...now what do I do?!
    Report Reply
  • PeachesKFGPeachesKFG
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_shopping-entourage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e4b4de97-67b9-44f5-94d4-281b8bee5449Post:0b573283-d12a-4687-8c2a-dd6ed4da5bf8">Re: My shopping entourage - Help?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My shopping entourage - Help?! : Ahhhhh my appointment at Mariella's is in two weeks and they didn't say anything about only bringing 3 people!  I was planning to bring 5- my aunt, 2 sisters (both MOH's) and grooms parents bc I didn't want them to feel left out.  My mom passed away so I invited my aunt (mom's sister) who has been the closest thing to a mom me.  I'd probably nix FI's parents to the appointment but I already told them that they could come and they're so excited...now what do I do?!
    Posted by LoriG41[/QUOTE]

    Maybe call Mariella's and say you heard through the grapevine that they only allow 3 people to come to your appointment, but the person on the phone never told you that when you booked the appt, so you've already invited 5 people to join you. If they never told you about the 3 person rule in the first place, they should make an exception for you. I'm sure you wouldn't be the first bride to squeeze 5 people in there!

    And on another note - I think this is a new rule. Because I specifically remember going to Mariella's to get my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding 10 years ago....and there were 5 of us in that group. Just give them a sob story about how important it is to have your 4 guests there! :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
    Report Reply
  • Melissa603Melissa603 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_shopping-entourage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e4b4de97-67b9-44f5-94d4-281b8bee5449Post:4cb4cfff-3d27-4b62-951c-8b7f58179a93">Re: My shopping entourage - Help?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My shopping entourage - Help?! : Maybe call Mariella's and say you heard through the grapevine that they only allow 3 people to come to your appointment, but the person on the phone never told you that when you booked the appt, so you've already invited 5 people to join you. If they never told you about the 3 person rule in the first place, they should make an exception for you. I'm sure you wouldn't be the first bride to squeeze 5 people in there! And on another note - I think this is a new rule. Because I specifically remember going to Mariella's to get my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding 10 years ago....and there were 5 of us in that group. Just give them a sob story about how important it is to have your 4 guests there! :)<div>Posted by kfesta[/QUOTE]

    </div><div>I wouldn't even do that. I would just show up with the 5 and tell them you were never informed o the 3 people rule. </div>
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    kfesta- I followed your advice and called to tell them I wasn't aware of the limit of people.  The woman explained that there is only a 3 person limit in the actual room where you change.  There is a lobby area upstairs where other people can wait so once you are in a dress you can come out and show them.  Problem solved!  I don't want more than one person in there helping me change anyway.  Thanks for the help!
    Report Reply
  • PeachesKFGPeachesKFG
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Haha, I agree. If it takes more than 3 people to get you into a dress, there's something seriously wrong with that dress!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot! Visit The Knot!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards