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Im Catholic he's not...

futuremrsmueller12futuremrsmueller12 member
First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
I'm Catholic and he's not He's Luthern (BUT he's mother is catholic). He's been baptize under the Luthern Church. I REALLY want to get married in a Catholic Ceremony b/c most likely if we do have children they'll be raised catholic... He doesn't mind doing it in a Catholic church but does not want to convert? Is that possible?!?!
**** Also everyone's scared him that the Mass is 45 minutes to an hour long... is there any way to have a catholic ceremony but not a full mass?!  THANKS IN ADVANCE!
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Re: Im Catholic he's not...

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    ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you can get married, and no he doesn't have to convert.  Many Catholic churches will marry a Catholic and a non-Catholic. 

    As to the ceremony length, you'll probably opt out of the full mass anyway because he won't be able to take communion.  So your ceremony will be shorter than a full mass, but will probably still be 30-45 minutes.  Not a big deal ;)

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    blackfire5thblackfire5th
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    edited December 2011
    Our nuptial mass (aka: with communion) took about 45 min.  Communion only adds 5-10 min.
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    samurai21samurai21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm Catholic and my FI is not, and we are having a Catholic ceremony outside of mass. Basically, mass without communion with a ceremony thrown in. Our priest has told us that without mass the longest it should take is 45 mins, and that all depends on the readings we pick.

    So yes, you can have a Catholic ceremony without mass and with your FI being Lutheran. No, the ceremony does not have to be 45 mins long. Go talk to your priest/ whatever priest is marrying you, and they can give you a clearer idea on how long your ceremony might be based on how long he would plan to take.

    GL!
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    samurai21samurai21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    PS- Try visiting catholicbrides.com  there they break down the differences in ceremonies with and without mass and can possibly answer some of your other questions. Again, GL!
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    futuremrsmueller12futuremrsmueller12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    THANK YOU SO MUCH LADIES! :)
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    AutumnEnchantmentAutumnEnchantment
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI isn't baptized in any religion and has to attend RCIA classes for us to get married in the church.  Once that's completed, he can choose to be baptized into the church or leave it at that and regardless of the decision...we can marry.  We're choosing a ceremony without mass, as most of his family (and mine included) aren't Catholic.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's ok. I just wouldn't do a full mass bc it may make him feel uncomfortable bc part of the ceremony is taking the communion together, unless of course it won't bother him. You can still get married in the church, and it won't be a problem if he doesn't convert (my parents are like that - even though my Mom isn't practicing) and FI's parents are like that as well. One is Catholic, the other is not. The only thing I would be prepared for is during your marriage prep, whatever that may be, they will likely talk to you about it and everything. Most of the times as long as you agree to raise the kids in the faith, it is ok and they let you slide pretty easily.
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    imJacksPGbellyimJacksPGbelly
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmm.. posted a similar question.. but from the opposite side-- wondering about having to convert.  I know I don't "have to", but from what I've been reading, if a Catholic divorces (and gets annullment from previous marriage-- his scenario), that if they remarry, it's "ok", but there's a probationary period or something where they can't take Eucharist for a bit?  before hand, I think?

    BUT if a Catholic remarries outside of the Church, that they are then not supposed to participate with Eucharist any longer..  not sure if this applies to all other religions, or just those where the other party is not baptized in any religion.  I'm ex-mormon, and have been baptized mormon, but supposedly in 2001 the Catholic church said mormon baptism isn't considered valid as a "sacrament" for the purposes of the Catholic church, so I would be considered not baptized, he'd have to get a dispensation, and from what it sounds like, we would only be able to have a "natural marriage", not a sacramental one.. 

    From your situation, it sounds like you'd be fine getting just a "permission", since I'm assuming he's baptized into his faith.. it'd still be considered "valid" and a "sacramental" marriage.

    My question is this:  Would I be able to be JUST baptized to obtain the "Validity" of a SAcramental marriage?  OR would I have to fully convert, do communion, confirmation, etc?  I am not asking to make a mockery of the religion but because I choose (actively choose) not to follow any one religion, and respect all faiths.  I feel like it would be dishonest of me to become fully Catholic knowing that I do not intend to follow it, even though I'm fine with having any children raised with it (his 8 yo attends private Catholic school, and I'd even consider having my son go to the same school when the time comes..).
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both part of the couple have to be validly baptized (in the name of the father, son, holy spirit- with the belief in the trinity) in order for a valid marriage to be sacramental.

    If one or both are not baptized, it can be a valid natural marriage.

    Regarding your first paragraph, there is no waiting period as you have written. A declaration of nullity states that a valid marriage never took place.
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    bridgeeboobridgeeboo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance is not Catholic, but he is Orthodox, which is recognized by the Catholic Church as sharing our faith.  However, we have opted to go for the Catholic cermony without communion since the standards and preparation for Orthodox Christians are more strict than those of Catholics (many hours of fasting before, full confession, etc).  Our priest also felt this was the best choice since our friends and families in both the wedding party and attending as guests come from a variety of faith backgrounds, and he wanted everyone to be able to feel they are participating fully in the service.
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Catholics also have to give a full confession before receiving the Eucharist (meaning, one has to be in the state of grace)
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