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Please, no SOB stories....

BunnyChiiBunnyChii member
100 Comments Second Anniversary
in Students
Look, I'm a social work major and I know that many people who get into social work often have their own personal stories of why they got into it. Heck, part of the reason I'm so interested in social work is because I want to help people who have gone through a similar situation that I went through. Not the only reason, but a part of it.

But can I just say that it bugs the crap outta me when people in my SW class decide to tell us their back story? Today was my last day of class (it was a 12 week class compared to the normal 16 weeks) and my teacher asked if there were any questions about things she hadn't covered yet. Some guy decided to tell the class his entire back story. Once he was done rambling, my teacher was kinda like, "Uhh, what was the question?"

I think some of the people have mistaken a SW class for a therapy session. =/ I don't mean to sound callous, but why are you spilling out your guts to us, especially when it's not relevant? It's just really awkward and uncomfortable...

So...That's my rant. Sorry, guys, just needed to vent.
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Re: Please, no SOB stories....

  • avsfan33avsfan33 member
    1000 Comments
    I feel your pain. I'm in Political Science and History, I should know nothing about anyone and for the most part, other than political stances and maybe their background I don't (unless I associate with them outside of classes). Anyway, there's this older woman who I know way too much about. We can be talking about a Parties' Platform and somehow her entire life story comes out.

    I know her medical history, what disorders she has, why her husband left her, why her kids don't talk to her, and basically her entire personal life. She's even told us about her gyno appointments. She has no filter and it's usually at really inappropriate times.

    She's a nice lady, I just don't feel comfortable knowing THAT much about her. We don't talk about personal things in class and yet, every class she's in of mine, I learn something new about her =\
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  • BunnyChiiBunnyChii member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    I'm so sorry about that! I just don't understand why people feel the need to tell the entire class their life story. I mean, why do we need to know that? 

    I had a girl in my class a while ago who actually raised her hand and asked the teacher, "Umm, my friend had her kids taken away a while ago. They gave her a year to do a bunch of stuff and she didn't do it. Will she ever get her kids back?" SERIOUSLY!?

    Another gem was when we were doing an exercise about how we would react to different clients, whether we could overcome any prejudices, etc. I was in a small group with her and our client was some guy who wanted to leave his wife and kids so he could have "sexual adventures with other women." My group of all women, of course, groaned that we got the worst one. Then the girl says, "Oh, this hits home because I know a guy JUST like that. When they talk about sexual adventures, I think about how he molested his daughter for years."

    WTF?! How is childhood sexual abuse ANYTHING like having consensual sex with adults?

    Sigh. She seemed to have mellowed out a bit with the story telling this semester, though.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm a communication major and I could probably piece together a life history of most of the people in my classes from information they share. I don't mind it though because it is relevant to our class discussions.

    I was uncomfortable when one girl went into really personal details about making the choice to have an abortion on the first day of class a couple of semesters ago. No one in the class really knew how to respond to that. I think it's fine to share personal experience if it's relevant to the class somehow but there is such a thing as over-sharing and some people just don't understand those boundaries.


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  • BunnyChiiBunnyChii member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_please-sob-stories?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:ac975ace-dc10-4e21-b4b2-1075bca504c9Post:16dab18b-0902-4dfc-82e1-d6e0463132f4">Re: Please, no SOB stories....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm a communication major and I could probably piece together a life history of most of the people in my classes from information they share. I don't mind it though because it is relevant to our class discussions. I was uncomfortable when one girl went into really personal details about making the choice to have an abortion on the first day of class a couple of semesters ago. No one in the class really knew how to respond to that. I think it's fine to share personal experience if it's relevant to the class somehow but there is such a thing as over-sharing and some people just don't understand those boundaries.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>No, I agree that it's okay if it's relevant. We once had a bunch of guest speakers - people who were doing or had done their internship - and one woman was working with substance abuse. She explained how she used to be addicted to drugs and was homeless for years because of it. That story was inspirational and totally relevant to what she was talking about. That's okay.</div><div>
    </div><div>Explaining your back story (i.e., sob story) without any relevance to the class is just weird, though. Weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved. I'll tell people one on one about my back story if it's relevant. I would NOT be able to just blurt it out loud to the class for no reason!

    </div><div>Yeah, that abortion thing sounds totally uncomfortable. Was that relevant to what you were talking about? Either way, talking about something on such a personal level, especially when it's the first day....Shudder. I consider myself a pretty open person, but I would never tell someone my back story for no reason. Really, it's none of their concern.</div>
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  • stacie+lucianostacie+luciano
    500 Comments
    Bunny, that happened a lot when I was in my Sociology classes, and lower level history classes and eco classes. 

    One girl would ask dumb questions and when she got an answer it would be "well where I'm from" or "Well, in MY family"

    Its annoying and I hate it.
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  • mrandmrsbristmrandmrsbrist member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    And sometimes I'm glad I'm a science major... :)
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  • LauraT25LauraT25
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_please-sob-stories?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:ac975ace-dc10-4e21-b4b2-1075bca504c9Post:78836d6c-bd09-4af3-95d8-79febb467ff9">Re: Please, no SOB stories....</a>:
    [QUOTE]And sometimes I'm glad I'm a science major... :)
    Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    Ha, ditto.  Scientists don't talk to other people.

    But seriously, I do know what you mean and it's so uncomfortable.  It came up a lot in my anthro class, and there's also a huge over-sharer in my grad program (she tells us all her issues, what meds she's on, etc).  I'm a very private person for the most part, so I don't get how people feel comfortable sharing such personal info with a room full of strangers.
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  • SarahKathryn90SarahKathryn90
    10 Comments
    Yikes. I don't think I've ever had someone say anything as person as their choice to have an abortion.. That just seems like a personal thing you don't blurt out on the first day of class. 

    I am in a class thats totally discussion based so there are always a couple people that think its basically their turn to tell us what they think about everything. But its never as bad as some of what yall are saying. jeez.
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    My sociology classes end up like this sometimes, which is why I am so glad its my minor and not my major. History for the win. 
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  • stacie+lucianostacie+luciano
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_please-sob-stories?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:ac975ace-dc10-4e21-b4b2-1075bca504c9Post:e445532e-dc93-4af9-addd-14445b648e79">Re: Please, no SOB stories....</a>:
    [QUOTE]My sociology classes end up like this sometimes, which is why I am so glad its my minor and not my major. History for the win. 
    Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes! Like scientists we keep to ourselves and only share our research. The only time we get personal is during family histories hahaha</div>
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  • carolynnmariegcarolynnmarieg member
    100 Comments
    It's interesting for me because, as a grad student in clinical psych, I'm actually pretty happy with the amount of personal sharing that happens (and I'm all done with my grad coursework).

    When sharing has happened, it's been in an appropriate context and in the smaller classes more designed for personal exploration towards being self-aware - an important quality in a therapist.

    I actually can't recall an incident in a class where I was like "really? not relevant...".
    Boundaries and knowing when it's called for to share that kind of things is super-important as a therapist, too, because you definitely don't want to share a personal story with a client unless it makes really good therapeutic and strategic sense to do so.

    Hrm.
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  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary
    ugh I so get you!

    mine is not really in class, but I tell people I am a vet student <- that part is almost gone YAY! and inevitabley I get to hear about all their pets and all their sicknesses and alll the vets they have ever been to.  I do know them right? 

    I mean ya I love animals, and medicine.  But that doesn't make your pets history any more interesting.
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  • Equine OsmosisEquine Osmosis member
    100 Comments
    LOL @ aggiebug
    Be prepared!  If any of you are going to have kids, the SAME thing will happen!!  People find out your pregnant and suddenly have to tell you their labor and birth story.  It might (or might not) be a little interesting at first, but when you get close to the end and women start telling you their horror stories... look out!!  Try not to listen or change the subject!
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